The Beginner's Guide: An Overlooked Element that is of Great Importance

A Jew may wake up early every morning for fifty years for Shacharit prayers, be meticulous about washing hands, make blessings over food and drink, avoid non-kosher media, attend gender-segregated events, choose the most beautiful four species for Sukkot, observe all the laws of Shabbat, be particular about kashrut, and feel confident that he is on the right path in his service to Hashem. And yet, the main element may be missing.

A Jew may end his life having missed the most central purpose for which he descended into this world, which is the refinement of his character. The Jewish term for this positive transformation is 'Tikkun HaMidot', as it involves balancing opposite personality traits until reaching the appropriate trait. For example, between extravagance and stinginess lies the golden path of generosity.

The Vilna Gaon, one of the greatest sages of Israel, wrote that man was created only to break his traits, and if he does not do so – why should he live? (from the book 'Even Shlema', chapter 1). The soul descended into this world to embark on a life journey of elevation, refinement, and change. We are not here to leave this world as we entered it. If, at age eighty, our character retains the same flaws as at age thirty, we have completely misnavigated our lives.

It is important to clarify that while Shabbat observance, kashrut, and modesty are surely essential for self-improvement and form the pillars of Judaism, all aspects of serving Hashem are obligatory and inseparable from the complex of a Jew's life's work.

Therefore, alongside strengthening the observance of commandments between man and Hashem, we must also engage in honest and piercing introspection to examine the weaknesses within our character. What is my level of anxiety? Where do I stand regarding laziness or procrastination? How much of an ego do I have? Do I consider others, and do I forgo my desires for them? Do I give and share sufficiently with others? Is my speech respectful to family members? How supportive am I of others' successes and how envious am I? How much do I publicize my achievements or joys, and how much do I remain humble? How much patience and restraint do I have? Do I perform my duties diligently and industriously?

The intention here is not, G-d forbid, to lower ourselves, damage our self-esteem, or punish ourselves for our shortcomings. Every person has wonderful and precious qualities, and it is very important, even obligatory, to recognize and cherish them. Yet, we are also obligated to examine our weaknesses so that we can work on them and become even better people.

The source for this commandment of character development is the directive to walk in Hashem's ways and emulate His actions and attributes, "And now, Israel, what does Hashem your God ask of you, but to fear Hashem your God to walk in all His ways and to love Him, and to serve Hashem your God with all your heart and with all your soul" (Deuteronomy 10:12); "If you diligently observe all these commandments which I charge you to do, to love Hashem your God to walk in all His ways and to cleave to Him" (Deuteronomy 11:22); "Hashem will establish you as a holy people, as He has sworn to you if you keep the commandments of Hashem your God and walk in His ways" (Deuteronomy 28:9). Our Sages explained, "Just as Hashem is called gracious, so should you be gracious; just as Hashem is called merciful, so should you be merciful; just as Hashem is called pious, so should you be pious" (Sifri on Deuteronomy 11:22).

Working on our internal world is not just an integral part of our life's purpose, but through it, we can also achieve a good quality of life in this world. Our internal world has a direct and unambiguous impact on our mental state, joie de vivre, emotional world, domestic peace, home atmosphere, relationships with family and society, and more. By working on Tikkun HaMidot, we fulfill an inseparable part of our life purpose and fulfill the will of the Creator, thereby earning spiritual and eternal rewards, as well as a happier and better life in this world.

The Weekly Challenge

Following is a partial list of human traits – the negative ones to overcome and the positive ones to strengthen.

Negative traits: Pride, arrogance, worry, anger, jealousy, laziness, stinginess, selfishness, love of property and wealth, falsehood, honor, disrespect for others, ingratitude, procrastination, lust for physical pleasures, covetousness, strictness and keeping grudges, grumbling and complaining, stubbornness.

Positive traits: Humility, joy, diligence, generosity, patience, orderliness, industriousness, kindness, a good eye, gratitude, respect for others, love of mankind, tolerance and forgiveness, contentment and satisfaction with one's lot.

Consider which trait in you requires the most improvement, and attend a lesson on that trait this week.