The Beginner's Guide: I've Fallen in Many Ways, Do I Stand a Chance?

The Torah tells us that when Abraham expelled Hagar and Ishmael, Ishmael was ill, and Hashem provided him with a well of water to sustain him. The Midrash comments: "The ministering angels jumped to accuse him. They said to Hashem: Master of the universe, a man who is destined to kill your children with thirst, you provide a well for him? Hashem said to them: What is he now, righteous or wicked? They responded: Righteous. He said to them: I only judge a person according to their current state" (Bereishit Rabbah, Parashat Nun Gimmel, Midrash Yud Dalet). Similarly, the Talmud states, "Rabbi Yitzhak said, one judges a person only by their deeds at that time, as it says, 'for Hashem heard the voice of the boy where he is now'" (Tractate Rosh Hashanah, page 16).

Even though Ishmael had committed evil deeds and was destined to do more, at that time he repented, regretted the past, and abandoned idolatry. Since at that moment he was righteous and became a changed person, Hashem judged him according to his present state - "where he is now." In other words, we are not judged by our past or future but by our current state, "where he is now." Therefore, even if a person fails in sins, they can repent, leave the past behind, and start anew. Repentance consists of three stages: A. Regret for the sin. B. Verbal confession of the sin. C. Future resolution not to repeat it.

King Solomon, the wisest of men, says, "For there is no righteous man on earth who does good and never sins" (Ecclesiastes 7:20). Everyone has their falls. What distinguishes the righteous is that he always rises from the fall- he does not despair of himself but returns to strengthen himself in the service of Hashem, as Solomon also said, "For a righteous man falls seven times and rises, but the wicked stumble in calamity" (Proverbs 24:16).

One explanation for the verse in Psalms "They fell and collapsed, but we rose and stood upright" is that it should have said, "They fell and collapsed - and we did not fall," except it doesn't say this because it is not possible that there are no falls. The difference between us and them is that we rise from our falls and stand strong, while they remain in their fall.

The Torah teaches us that one can always start anew through the path of the Nazirite. A Nazirite is a person who for a certain period of time, takes upon themselves to refrain from drinking wine, cutting hair, and becoming ritually impure. If they violate one of these prohibitions, they must bring an offering, and the Torah says about this - "He shall atone for the sin he committed in regard to the soul, and consecrate his head on that day" (Numbers 6:11).
Rabbi Yisrael Alter of blessed memory, known by his book Beit Yisrael", interprets the words "and consecrate his head": "A Nazirite who took upon himself not to drink wine or cut his hair, and suddenly something happened, and he could not keep his promise, surely tells himself: 'Look, you can't manage anything. See how you fell, what - couldn't you be careful? That's it, you're a hopeless case.' And maybe the Nazirite even tells himself: 'Maybe Hashem doesn't want my deeds, maybe it's from heaven that I failed?' The Torah tells this dear person in despair - "and consecrate your head," clear your mind from unnecessary, despairing thoughts, consecrate your mind and start a new Nazirite vow from today onward".

The Weekly Challenge

A new year has started. Leave the past in the past, and look forward. Take a pen and paper (not on Shabbat and holidays, of course), and write down where you would like to see yourself a year from today — spiritually, in self-improvement, health, family, and more. Keep the paper in a drawer. Think about the most important goal you want to achieve, and decide on one small action you can take to advance towards it.