How Can I Know in Which Area I Need to Strengthen Myself?

In a message of encouragement, Rabbi Yitzchak Zilberstein, rabbi of the Ramat Elchanan neighborhood in Bnei Brak, explained that to progress in spiritual work and reach goals, one must prepare an organized action plan in specific areas that require strengthening, tailored to one's spiritual level and current state. Rabbi Zilberstein emphasized the importance of finding a time of quiet and rest to perform a personal self-assessment, pondering on areas where self-improvement and advancement are needed. He noted that each individual should focus on topics relevant to them, as the objective is to construct a personal plan that aligns with their own level and personal situation. "Someone who needs to focus on interpersonal relations, or improving their family harmony, but chooses instead to pursue asceticism hasn't accomplished anything. Similarly, someone who should discard an unsuitable phone yet decides to focus on humility gains nothing either," stated the rabbi. True correction and personal wholeness are not achieved by strengthening general aspects but rather by directly addressing one’s personal weaknesses.

"We must delineate for ourselves the traits and actions that need improvement and set plans and introspective assessments to uphold these enhancements."

To the question "In what should I strengthen myself?" Rabbi Pollack answers with words he wrote in the Ramat Elchanan newsletter 'Kol Berama': "As is known, there are four areas that require strengthening—Torah, prayer, acts of kindness, and derech eretz (respectful behavior)! What is 'derech eretz'? What does it refer to? It’s essential to read Rashi’s explanation literally (Berachot, pg 32b). 'If he is a craftsman, then in his craft; if he is a merchant, then in his trade; if he is a warrior, then in his warfare.' Rashi’s words are clear and decisive: Strengthening oneself is an individual, private matter. Each person must strengthen themselves in their own particular area."

"Just as there is no general profession for everyone, and as each person has their own challenges, each individual has a specific strength in which they need to improve. The concept of 'derech eretz' means that everyone must strengthen within their domain," explains the rabbi.

Are You Also Avoiding It?

The rabbi continues, stating there is a natural tendency in the human psyche to avoid strengthening in areas where one is most affected and needs healing. Individuals might opt to take on general obligations, such as hosting a farewell banquet, respecting holy texts, or other actions that are technical and require less emotional effort.

"This is not the way!" clarifies Rabbi Zilberstein. "Our sages teach: If you wish to strengthen, do not run! Do it in your place, seek within your everyday life. Specifically in these places is where you need the most strength. First, address issues within your jurisdiction, and only then consider other general enhancements as a supplement."

What Is the Hidden Hope in Our Hearts? Avoiding Hard Work

Why in the depths of our hearts, do we seek external answers to such an internal and personal question? Rabbi Zilberstein responds, revealing the reality as it is: "Deep down, there is a hidden hope that someone from the outside, unaware of our true condition, may gently suggest that all we need to do is something minor like checking mezuzot, or one-off initiatives."

"If genuinely seeking strength, one must pinpoint areas of their personal weaknesses which he knows more intimately than anyone else. Seek rabbinical texts that relate to your field, decode what hinders you in the service of Hashem, dismantle and reveal their causes, and through this, straighten your path in serving Hashem," concludes the rabbi.