Should We Love or Fear Hashem? A Response You'll Love

"Should we love or fear Hashem? "Should I see Hashem as a loving and forgiving figure, or one that inspires awe and fear?"

Rabbi Aaron Moss, rabbi of the 'Nefesh' community located in Bondi Beach, Sydney, Australia, provided a beautiful answer to a reader. In his witty and unique style, Rabbi Moss responds in a manner characterized by out-of-the-box thinking.

"The word 'fear' evokes images of something frightening, like a haunted house, a dark alley, or a tough traffic cop. I understand why you might be put off by a religion that encourages fear. It doesn't seem appropriate to feel towards Hashem what we feel towards a villain," begins Rabbi Moss in his response.

"Indeed, there is a concept in Judaism called 'Yirat Shamayim,'" Rabbi Moss agrees and continues to clarify that 'fear' is a word that completely misses the true meaning of the concept. A better word for explaining 'yirah' is "respect."

"Although love should be a primary motivating factor in our lives, we also need a healthy measure of respect. The difference between love and respect is that when I love, I am focused on my emotions towards you. When I respect, I am focused on your presence and not my own. Love is my desire to approach you. Respect is my appreciation for your uniqueness, your right to be who you are.

"When you love someone but do not respect them, everything revolves around you. The other person is simply an object of your love; you don't take their opinions seriously, nor do you treat them as a real person. A person who loves their partner but does not respect them never gives the other space to truly exist. If you love your parents without respecting them, you have no parents, just good friends. A friend you do not truly respect is nothing more than a convenient accessory to keep you company when you feel like it.

"Respect means recognizing someone else as an important and valid person who deserves to be heard. It means looking at them with appreciation and understanding that there are aspects of the other person we simply must accept, whether we like it or not. Respect means, quite simply, taking another person seriously," 

"We love Hashem, we feel close to Him, but we also respect the fact that He is Hashem, a real entity with expectations and demands. He is our parent whom we love, but He is also a king we must obey. Awe and respect prevent us from thinking Hashem is just an extension of our ego, a being we can stretch and bend to fit the image we've created for ourselves.

"Respect, awe, not fear. There's no villain. Besides traffic cops, there's no one to fear," concludes Rabbi Moss with his clear and surprising explanation.