Why is Hashem Watching Me All the Time? The Answer Will Surprise You

Rabbi Aaron Moss, the rabbi of the 'Nefesh' community located at the heart of Bondi Beach, Sydney, Australia, answers various questions in his weekly column. In his witty and unique style, Rabbi Moss provides answers characterized by outside-the-box thinking. His columns are known and eagerly read around the world and are analyzed at Shabbat tables across the globe.

Question of the week: "I feel uncomfortable with the idea that Hashem is watching me all the time. It feels suffocating to be under constant surveillance. I suffered enough from 'helicopter parenting' as a child. Do I really need someone breathing down my neck in my adulthood?"

Rabbi Aaron Moss replies: "I agree, the last thing we need is Hashem as a 'helicopter parent'. But I don't think that's what Hashem does.

There are three parenting models: the helicopter, the spaceship, and the sailing boat. The helicopter parent hovers around their child, correcting every mistake, protecting from every danger, and catching every fall. Helicopter parents do not allow their child to speak for themselves, take risks, or get hurt. Although this all stems from love, they do not provide the child with room to grow.

The spaceship parents are on another planet. The children in these families need to raise themselves and are left to do whatever they please. Spaceship parents are busy with their own lives, too lazy, or afraid to set rules. With unlimited access to the internet and refrigerator, the children are left alone in their own space.

In truth, sometimes we need to be like helicopter parents, and sometimes like spaceship parents. When children are very young, we need to watch their every move, and once the children grow up, we need to give them space. But for the rather large number of years in between, we need to adopt a third parenting model. This is the model of the sailing boat.

Your child is navigating the ocean of life. You need to be the wind in their sails. From a safe distance, blow words of encouragement, offer gentle advice, and provide subtle guidance to help them steer the ship. The children need to maneuver the waves on their own, but they should be able to drift with the love, support, and constant guidance of their parents at their back.

Hashem is our sailing boat parent. He is with us on our life's journey and stands behind us through our ups and downs. He keeps us company when we are alone. He encourages us during our challenges, sends us strength and encouragement in our moments of weakness, and He celebrates our victories, both big and small.

He does not suffocate us and He does not abandon us. He gives us everything we need to flourish. And then He lets us do it.

Hashem, like any good parent, is our biggest admirer. He does not breathe down our neck; He breathes wind into our sails," concludes Rabbi Moss in his explanation, offering a different perspective on the benevolent presence of Hashem in our lives.