The Beginner's Guide: Dealing with Mockery from Society

"A person from a traditional home wants to grow spiritually. How should they do it?" Rabbi Zamir Cohen was asked in one of his weekly classes at the Great Synagogue in Ramat Aviv Gimmel. The questioner elaborated: "I listen to Torah classes, grow spiritually, then get distracted by other things such as Facebook, which hinder my spiritual progress."

Other common questions include: "My friends aren't into religion, making it difficult, and I feel different". "I'm advised to grow slowly and not too quickly. How should I approach the process? What are the steps? Also, can I study Talmud? I heard one shouldn't learn Talmud without knowing Tanach and Mishnah beforehand?"

Rabbi Zamir answered as follows: "There is the verse 'Turn from evil and do good.' You must always pursue both aspects. 

The Ramchal in his book 'Path of the Just' explains that we are a spiritual soul within a physical body in a physical environment, facing battles both inside and outside. The fight against impulses is indeed challenging. A person who engages in distractions like Facebook will find it harder to strengthen spiritually.

When we turn from evil, everyone knows what triggers unnecessary distractions for them. First, prevent yourself from what reduces you spiritually, minimize it, and remove the evil.

The 'Do Good' is divided into two parts. The first is daily Torah study which is the only thing that can preseve one's spirituality. A live class is better than an online Torah lesson or recordings, but since it's not possible to attend Torah classes all day, it's important to use free times like travel, breaks at work, etc. and to utilize every free moment for Torah study.

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Additionally, having a rabbi who knows you personally can provide advice on how to advance, what to do, what not to do, as well as the pace of advancement.

The first part of 'Do Good' is listening to as much Torah as possible, preferably learning live with a rabbi who knows you personally. The second part of 'Do Good,' aside from Torah study, is strengthening in practical mitzvot, which must be gradual. A person who decides to pray three times a day immediately may find it difficult and may break spiritually. A person should choose a mitzvah such as tefillin and decide that to begin, every morning he will put on tefillin for 10 minutes, and say the shema prayer.

In the same way that a baby needs formula to grow, but if you feed him meat, he'll choke, a person at the beginning of his journey must be careful to take on simple mitzvot at the start so that it does not overwhelm him. For example, making a blessing on foods, lighting shabbat candles etc.

If someone finds it difficult to stop driving on shabbat, they can start with not turning lights on and off during Shabbat. If someone is ready to keep the full shabbat but finds it difficult to stop listening to music, it can be turned on with headphones before Shabbat and left it on for the duration of shabbat. While the goal is perfection, it is important to proceed gradually. One should not adopt an 'all or nothing' approach as this is not correct.

Regarding the pace of growth Rabbi Zamir explains that a rabbi is the best person to provide guidance in this regard, but otherwise the approach should be to move up a step, rejoice in the new undertaking, ensure that you feel completely stable, and then advance another step. One shouldn't climb too many steps at once because this creates the risk of falling.

"What does one do socially?", Rabbi Zamir explains that it's a mistake for someone who is growing spiritually to immediately try spreading the light, as those who haven't experienced what he's experienced may see him as disconnected from reality. It's important to know the balance of what to say and what not to say. First one should focus on building himself and only then, if necessary, his friends.

When a person feels that society is mocking his path it's important to remember that anyone who chooses to return to religion goes through three social stages: the first is the talking stage when everyone discusses 'what happened to him' etc. The second stage is acceptance – eventually, they accept it, and the third stage is admiration and even reverence. At this final stage, all those who spoke about you in the past actually come to consult with you, and you become the spiritual guide", Rabbi Zamir concludes with a smile.