“I Blamed Myself”—Her Tears, His Kind Answer

A young widow, haunted by her husband’s sudden death, came to Rabbi Yitzchak Zilberstein’s beit din (rabbinical court) in tears. She recounted how, during the last week of his life, her husband had asked her ten times to call an ambulance. Each time, the EMTs found nothing wrong and even charged her for the service. The tenth time he complained, she decided it was just his imagination—and moments later he collapsed and died. Tormented by guilt, she wondered: did she sin by not calling help one more time?

Rabbi Zilberstein listened with kindness, then brought the question to his brother-in-law, Rabbi Chaim Kanievsky. Rabbi Kanievsky explained that while the widow was not legally required to summon help again, her final decision had contributed to her husband’s death. Drawing on the story of King David—who, though innocent of direct harm, sought atonement for the priests of Nob—and the ruling of the Nodah b’Yehuda about an agent’s fatal journey, the Rabbi ruled that she needed teshuvah (repentance) and atonement. Her compassionate concern and her choice combined to make her responsible, and a heartfelt path of atonement would bring her peace.

No act of hesitancy is wasted, and no delay is beyond forgiveness. With Rabbi Kanievsky’s gentle guidance, the widow found a way to balance responsibility with compassion—and to begin healing her broken heart.