Why Rabbi Gershon Edelstein Chose to Stop Officiating Weddings

Many waters cannot quench the love, appreciation, and strong bond that existed for decades between Rosh Yeshiva Rabbi Gershon Edelstein and his lifelong friend and colleague, Rabbi Baruch Dov Povarsky. Both served as heads of the famous Ponevezh Yeshiva, and their relationship was marked by deep respect and pure friendship.

Rabbi Baruch Dov often told groups of Torah teachers and fellow yeshiva heads: “Rabbi Gershon and I have served as Roshei Yeshiva at Ponevezh for close to seventy years. And I can tell you, gentlemen—never, not once—has there been even the slightest quarrel, disagreement, anger, or jealousy between us. Only love, brotherhood, peace, and friendship. The only kind of envy we ever had was for the sake of the other’s honor and success.”

Several years ago, Rabbi Baruch Dov shared during a speech at a celebration how deeply impressed he had been by Rabbi Edelstein’s father, Rabbi Tzvi Yehuda. “I’ve never seen such an elevated and refined person,” he said. “And in his sons, Rabbi Gershon and Rabbi Yaakov, you can still see that same kind of purity. Where else can you find something like that today?”

One story beautifully captures this sense of humility and honor. In the past, when Rabbi Gershon Edelstein still officiated at weddings for his students, he would often ask them to give that honor instead to Rabbi Baruch Dov. Sometimes, he would even excuse himself by saying that his voice wasn’t clear enough for making the wedding blessings properly, and that someone with clearer speech—like Rabbi Baruch Dov—would be more suitable.

But then something happened that changed everything.

About 19 years ago, Rabbi Edelstein stopped officiating weddings altogether. Not just for students, but even for members of his own family. He never made a public statement about it, but those close to him believe they understand the reason.

One day, a student from the yeshiva—someone very close to Rabbi Edelstein—approached him and asked if he would officiate his upcoming wedding. As was his usual practice, Rabbi Edelstein gently referred the student to Rabbi Baruch Dov.

The student, perhaps trying to avoid an awkward situation, didn’t go to Rabbi Baruch Dov. Instead, he told Rabbi Edelstein that he had already checked, and Rabbi Baruch Dov wasn’t available that night.

But a few days later, the truth came out. Rabbi Edelstein found out that the student had not been honest, and Rabbi Baruch Dov had, in fact, been available. The student had lied in order to get Rabbi Edelstein to officiate the wedding himself.

Rabbi Edelstein was deeply disturbed. Even the smallest possibility that his actions could have caused the slightest disrespect to the Torah of Rabbi Baruch Dov was too much for him to bear. And so, he made a decision: from that moment on, he would no longer officiate weddings—not for students, not for relatives. It was a private, powerful statement of his values and his great care for the dignity of others.

More than 19 years passed, and he stayed true to that decision. Such was the greatness and sensitivity of the Torah leaders of our generation. Their humility, their deep love for each other, and their constant focus on what is right—how lucky we are to have had them.

Courtesy of the 'Dirshu' website