The Power of Everyday Kindness

1. What mitzvah is fulfilled when helping at home?

The admired Sabba of Slabodka, one of the great Jewish leaders, was known not only for his Torah wisdom but for his deep kindness.

Once, he met one of his students during the student’s first year of marriage. The Sabba asked warmly, “So, how are you helping your wife at home?”

The student, eager to impress his teacher, answered proudly: “I try to follow the example of our Sages in Tractate Shabbat—Rava would salt the fish, and Rav Safra would lightly burn the animal’s head. I help my wife with Shabbat preparations, just like the great rabbis!”

The Sabba responded with a gentle but firm lesson: “Do you really need to rely on the actions of the Amoraim (sages of the Talmud) to help your wife at home? Isn’t the Torah commandment ‘you shall surely help with him’ enough? That mitzvah of chesed (kindness) obligates you to help. Helping at home is one of the highest expressions of kindness.”

2. “But I have no money—how can I do chesed?”

Rabbi Naftali Amsterdam, one of the closest students of Rabbi Yisrael Salanter (founder of the Mussar movement), once had a conversation with his teacher soon after he got married.

Rabbi Yisrael asked him, “Are you doing acts of kindness?”

Rabbi Naftali answered sincerely, “I don’t have the money to run a gemach (a free-loan fund). Without money, how can I help others?”

Rabbi Yisrael gently corrected him. “That’s not what I meant. You can do chesed constantly—right in your own home, with your wife and children. Every moment, there are opportunities for kindness, and they don’t cost a single coin. Your home can become a huge chesed fund that you run with love—even without a penny.”

3. A Torah leader who played with his grandchildren

One Friday, the great Rabbi Eliyahu Lopian, known for his holiness and deep Torah knowledge, was seen spending a long time playing with his grandchildren.

Why? His daughter was busy preparing for Shabbat in the kitchen. Rabbi Lopian was keeping the children occupied so she could work in peace.

This simple act of watching the grandchildren was a true act of kindness, done with love and humility.

4. A Torah book saved by kindness

Rabbi Yaakov Yisrael Kanievsky, known as the Steipler Gaon, once shared a powerful story:

“When I was a young man,” he said, “I wanted to buy a Torah book called Imrei Moshe. I didn’t have enough money, so I asked the author if he could give me a discount. Instead, the author kindly sent me the book as a gift.”

Years later, after the horrors of the Holocaust, people wanted to reprint Imrei Moshe, but no copy could be found. After a long search, they discovered that the only remaining copy was the one the Steipler had received.

The book was reprinted from that single copy.

The Steipler concluded: “Because the book was given as an act of kindness, it remained safe. The author was blessed that the kindness he showed helped preserve his Torah.”

5. “She must agree to live with my widowed mother”

An older unmarried man was deeply committed to caring for his widowed mother. Every time a match was suggested, he told the potential bride that his only condition was that she agree to live together with his mother. Time after time, the match would fall through.

His family, concerned about his future, turned to Rabbi Shlomo Zalman Auerbach, one of the great Torah sages of the generation. They asked him to try and convince the young man to be more flexible.

But Rabbi Auerbach didn’t rush to judge. “Maybe he’s right,” he said thoughtfully. “A young woman who isn’t willing to live with his mother, maybe she’s lacking in kindness.”

The family asked, “So what should we do?”

Rabbi Auerbach replied simply, “Let’s daven (pray) that Hashem will send him a woman who agrees.”

Eventually, the young man became engaged. Rabbi Auerbach invited him to his home and asked, “Did your bride agree to live with your mother?”

The young man replied, “Yes.”

Rabbi Auerbach smiled warmly. “Then that’s a sign she is truly kind-hearted. But please now that you are engaged, make arrangements for your mother to live in a beautiful retirement home. Your wife shouldn’t have to carry that burden. Be kind to both of them.”