The Soldier’s Story That Brought Rabbi Steinman to Tears

Avi Katz, founder of the Israeli coffee chain Cofix, shares a powerful personal memory of the late Rebbetzin Tamar Steinman. She was the devoted wife of Rabbi Aharon Yehuda Leib Steinman, one of the greatest Torah leaders of our generation.

In a column published in Yediot, Katz writes:

"During Operation Peace for Galilee, I served in the IDF Armored Corps, right on the front lines. The first eight months of the war were unimaginably painful. Around me, friends were wounded, others killed… some even burned before my eyes."

"I was a Haredi (ultra-Orthodox) kid, fatherless, who had enlisted in the army. After eight months at the front, I got leave to go home to Bnei Brak. I planned to visit a friend badly wounded and lying in the hospital—and to attend the funeral of another friend who had fallen in battle."

"At the bus stop near my childhood home, on the corner of Chazon Ish and Rabbi Akiva Streets, I stood waiting to go to the funeral. My heart was heavy. I had just visited my widowed mother. I was grieving, and also preparing to return to the battlefield. My face must have shown everything I was carrying inside."

That bus stop was near the home of Rabbi Aharon Steinman, the spiritual leader of the Lithuanian Torah world and Rosh Yeshiva (head of yeshiva) at the renowned Ponevezh Yeshiva.

"Suddenly," Katz continues, "Rebbetzin Tamar Steinman came out of her home. We knew each other well, she was a close friend of my late mother, and never left her side during her years as a widow. Even after her husband became famous, she continued to show care and loyalty to those she loved."

"A small woman with a shining, gentle face, she walked up to me and her eyes lit up. ‘Avi’le, how are you?’ she asked warmly."

"I didn’t hold back. I told her where I was coming from, where I was headed, and the pain I was in."

"Then she stood up tall, as tall as she could, and said gently, ‘Avi’le, everything will be fine. With Hashem’s help, you’ll come back safely. Everything will be fine.’"

"She didn’t see my army uniform or my height or the strange contrast between us. She didn’t see a soldier, she saw a fellow Jew in pain. Her status as a well-known rebbetzin (rabbi’s wife), beloved in the Haredi community, didn’t matter to her in that moment. What mattered was that I was hurting."

"After our encounter, I went to the funeral and then back to Lebanon for another six months on the front line. But the warmth of her words, her gentle touch, and her promise that everything would be okay stayed with me every single day, until I finally returned home."

Years later, after the Rebbetzin passed away, Katz went to pay a shiva (condolence) visit to Rabbi Aharon Yehuda Leib Steinman.

"Before I got up to leave," he recalls, "someone who came with me quietly told the story to the Rabbi."

The elderly Rabbi Steinman, known for his deep emotional strength and quiet dignity, suddenly burst into tears. He cried and cried, unable to calm down for several long minutes.

That's how close he was to his righteous wife and how strong her quiet kindness truly was.

Rabbi Aharon Yehuda Leib Steinman (14 Cheshvan 5675 – 24 Kislev 5778) passed away seven years ago. He was one of the greatest Torah leaders of our time, president of the Council of Torah Sages of Degel HaTorah, and known for his humility, simplicity, and total dedication to Torah study. He authored around 30 sefarim (Torah books), including the well-known Ayelet HaShachar series on the Talmud and Chumash (Five Books of Moses).