When Life Shakes You: Rabbi Margalit on Choosing to Live

Few people have endured as many hardships as Rabbi Aharon Margalit. As a child, he was struck by polio and hovered between life and death. He was left completely paralyzed. After nearly five years in the hospital, he began to recover with what can only be described as miraculous strength. Still, he remained with paralysis in his shoulders, weakness in his arms and one leg, and a severe stutter that only faded through intense effort and perseverance.

Later in life, he experienced further heartbreak. His brother, Chaim Yaakov Kapel, was killed in the War of Attrition. Then, Rabbi Margalit himself was diagnosed with a life-threatening cancer. Doctors gave him just weeks to live. He prepared his will and said his goodbyes but refused to give up. With fierce determination, he battled the illness and survived. Not once, but three times.

The boy who once couldn’t speak now gives hundreds of lectures each year. He also published a powerful book, Eshalech ("I Will Walk"), which tells his life story with clarity, humor, and deep spiritual insight.

In a heartfelt interview with the Dirshu website, Rabbi Margalit revealed what he describes as the hardest trial of his life: the tragic loss of his son, Chaim Yankele, who died just a year after getting married.

“Ten and a half years ago,” Rabbi Margalit says, “we lost our son in very tragic circumstances, just a year after his wedding. I want to share a powerful moment from the night of his funeral.”

The funeral was large. Thousands attended, friends, family, and residents of Rechovot. It lasted for hours. When Rabbi Margalit returned home around two in the morning, the house was already full and his wife and children were there, along with neighbors and close friends.

“When I walked in,” he recalls, “I saw my wife and children standing against the wall, looking at me. Without planning it, without even thinking, something rose up in me and I started speaking to them.”

“I had already given the eulogy at the funeral. I had said everything, I was exhausted physically, emotionally, spiritually. But when I saw their eyes, it all poured out.”

“Until today, we’ve been riding the train of life, assuming more happy stations lay ahead. But now, a huge hole has opened in our train car. Our Chaim Yankele fell through it. And this hole threatens to swallow us all.”

“Rivka,” he said to his wife, “with Hashem’s help, I won’t fall. I’m holding on by my fingertips, but I won’t let go. I owe this to you. I owe it to our children. And I owe it to Chaim Yankele, who left this world without children to carry on for him.”

“A new mission awaits us now,” he continued. “We must bring merit to his  soulbecause if we don’t, no one else will. Let’s gather our strength and rise back to the floor of the train. Our journey must continue. And with Hashem’s help, we’ll still reach joyful stations.”

Rabbi Margalit turned to his wife and children and said, “We don’t understand why this happened. But we trust Hashem.”

“My dear wife, just as I owe this to you, you owe this to me. And to our children. And to Chaim Yankele.”

“To my children, I beg you: don’t collapse. Continue living. Not just breathing, but really living a life of meaning, of purpose. I’ve met people who walk, talk, eat but their soul is already gone. I don’t want that for you.”

“Let’s pray to our Father in Heaven. Let’s ask, ‘Give us strength not just to live, but to live with meaning.’”

“We’ve been struck. It’s painful. But we are commanded in the Torah: ‘U’vacharta ba’chayim, Choose life.’ (Devarim/Deuteronomy 30:19). Every moment, we must choose life.”

“Let’s tell Hashem: ‘Father, we choose life. We don’t understand this, but we trust You. We know You only do good, even if we can’t see it now. We know it’s good for Chaim Yankele, and it will be good for us, too. Please give us strength to continue with joy.’”

“There’s a time to cry and a time to mourn. But the rest of the time we must live. Fill your days with dreams, action, creativity, and hope.”

“My children,” he said, “we’re not playing games here. Life isn’t like children saying, ‘I don’t want to play anymore.’ We can’t say to Hashem, ‘I’m done, I have no more strength.’ Hashem commands: ‘Choose life.’ As long as we have breath, we must choose life.”

“And one more thing,” Rabbi Margalit added, “At that moment, there were 150 people in the house. Everyone was watching. Tomorrow, the whole city would be talking. But more than that Hashem was watching. And His heavenly court. Hashem was saying, ‘Let’s see how Aharale handles this test I gave him.’”

“He’s the same Hashem who gave us all our blessings. And He gave us this pain, too. He wants to see how we respond. We’ll show Him that we believe. That we’ll get through this with emunah (faith) and bitachon (trust).”

Reflecting ten years later, Rabbi Margalit adds this advice to anyone facing hardship:

“Whenever you’re hit with something hard or even something joyful ask yourself two things:

1. What can I do right now that’s productive? Yes, I’m in pain. Yes, I lost money or received bad news. But sitting in sadness won’t help. What can I do that will move me forward?
2. What does Hashem want from me right now? What is the purpose of this moment?

“People who train themselves to think this way can handle anything. Even terrible losses. They recover faster and keep moving forward.”

“When I walked in that night and saw the look in my wife’s eyes,” he said, “I instantly knew: if I fall apart, she will too. And if we fall, the whole family will. I had no choice. I had to rise. I had a responsibility to them, and to Hashem.”

And so he did.

Today, Rabbi Aharon Margalit continues to teach, speak, and inspire.