Kindness Along the Way: A Bar Mitzvah Blessing from Rabbi Kanievsky

We live in the holy city of Bnei Brak.

A few weeks ago, we were preparing for our dear son’s bar mitzvah celebration. Just a few days before the bar mitzvah, I took my son to receive blessings from some of Israel’s great Torah scholars.

On the way to visit one of these scholars, I thought to try and visit Rabbi Chaim Kanievsky shlit”a. (Shlit”a is an honorific for living rabbis meaning “may he live a long and good life.”) A few weeks earlier, I had called to schedule an appointment with Rabbi Kanievsky, but was told that appointments could only be made on the 4th of Iyar 5777. When I called on that day, I learned that until further notice, Rabbi Kanievsky was not receiving anyone for blessings or visits.

Still, when we arrived nearby, I decided to try anyway and maybe, just maybe, for a bar mitzvah blessing we could be seen?

When we arrived, I found another person who seemed to have the same hope. He had been waiting a long time and was almost ready to give up. At some point, we went downstairs, thinking we wouldn’t succeed in meeting the Rabbi. Then suddenly, the door opened. I rushed back upstairs with my son. A young man told us there was no chance of receiving a blessing because the Rabbi was not “receiving” visitors.

But then he added that the Rabbi was currently making a siyum which is a special celebration marking the completion of a section of the Talmud, in this case, the “Zeraim” order and he needed two more people to complete a minyan (a quorum of ten Jewish adults needed for certain prayers). Because of this, we were allowed to enter.

Our eyes lit up. We were both happy and excited. What could be a greater gift for a bar mitzvah boy than to be part of such a holy moment? Inside the house were the Rabbi’s close family, his grandchildren, sons, and daughters and us.

The Rabbi completed the tractate, said Kaddish (a special prayer for honoring the deceased and sanctifying God’s name), drank from the wine, and, thank God, we also merited to drink.

The Rabbi blessed my dear son. Then I asked him if he could bless my son to become a Torah scholar and a righteous person. The Rabbi looked at me and said, “You want him to be a Torah scholar? If you study with him, he will be a Torah scholar!” I understood that the Rabbi meant, “I can bless, but that’s not enough. The main thing is making an effort. There are no shortcuts.”

After this surprising visit, I wondered what merit we had that day that allowed us to enter the Rabbi’s presence in such a special way.

Of course, we do not know Heaven’s calculations, but perhaps we can reflect.

On the way to the Rabbi, we saw an elderly Jew looking for a ride. We stopped and helped him travel several blocks, thank God. Later, continuing on our way, I saw another elderly Jew walking. He wasn’t stopping or asking for a ride, but I thought, “I’m already driving toward Rashbam Street; maybe it would help if I offered.” He accepted and was happy.

In my opinion, perhaps this simple act of kindness helped me. Since there was no expectation that I would offer a ride, but I did it beyond what was required, Heaven also treated me beyond the usual allowing me to be seen for a blessing by Rabbi Kanievsky, even during a siyum when the Rabbi had not received anyone for weeks.

I remember my childhood, growing up in a family with limited means and no car. Anyone who gave my late father a ride was greatly appreciated, and he would often give them a gift in thanks. Now that I have a car, I try to help others whenever I can. Sometimes it is too hot, cold, or raining, and elderly people are outside. I always try to do acts of kindness and help them, because Hashem has blessed me with a car, and I want to be someone who “gives Him what is His, for you and yours are His” (a teaching from the Torah reminding us that everything we have really belongs to God).

Once I asked Rabbi Reuven Akavian if I should buy a car I had carefully inspected. He answered, “If you intend to use this car to perform acts of kindness, you will have Divine help.” And so I did and thank God, the car has been excellent.

I have a neighbor who once told me that sometimes, with a little attention, you can do many acts of kindness “along the way” and earn many mitzvot (good deeds). You’re already driving in that direction on a hot day, offer to take your neighbor. If you know someone who needs work, a place to live, or just a kind word, offer help. Smile at your neighbor.

“Think kindness—merit kindness.”

As it is said, “Torah begins with kindness, and ends with kindness.”