"Why Did You End My Life?" A Message from the World Above

In the VeHigadta collection for Yom Kippur, Rabbi Yaakov Galinski shared a deeply meaningful story that speaks to the hidden power of suffering and the value of every moment we are given in this world.

Rabbi Galinski recalled a time when he was in the hospital and was approached by a doctor who looked troubled and confused. The doctor asked if he could speak with him and began to share what had happened just a few days earlier.

A terminally ill patient in his ward had been suffering from unbearable pain. The disease had ravaged his body, and though his condition was hopeless, machines were still keeping him alive. During the doctors’ final evaluation, it was decided that there was no reason to continue prolonging the patient's life. The lead doctor gave an instruction, and the doctor who was now speaking to Rabbi Galinski was the one who carried it out. He disconnected the patient from the machines. The man convulsed, and after three hours of struggle, he passed away.

The doctor paused and then said, “Last night, that patient came to me in a dream. He looked me in the eye and asked, ‘Why did you do that to me? Why did you disconnect me from the machines?’ I answered him, ‘I freed you from your pain.’ But the man said, ‘Why? Why did you do that? When my soul reached the Heavenly Court, I was told I had been given four more days of suffering in this world. That short time would have cleansed me completely. I would have entered Gan Eden pure. But because you ended my life early, who knows how long I’ll now have to suffer in Gehinom? Why did you do this to me?’”

Now visibly shaken, the doctor asked Rabbi Galinski, “Is this true? Does it really make such a difference whether someone suffers here or in the next world?”

Rabbi Galinski answered him gently but firmly. “Absolutely. This world is known as Olam HaAsiyah, the world of action. Here, even a small mitzvah creates incredible light in the upper worlds, and even a small transgression can bring darkness. Similarly, pain in this world has the power to cleanse a person and save them from suffering in Gehinom. The Ramban writes that one hour of suffering in Gehinom is worse than an entire lifetime of pain like that of Iyov.”

He continued, “The Saba of Kelm used to quote Rabbi Yisrael Salanter, who said a person can earn their entire eternal reward in this world with something as small as a dessert spoon meaning even the smallest act matters. And suffering, too, has meaning.”

Then Rabbi Galinski told the doctor a story about the Vilna Gaon. “The Gaon once told his students that everything written in the Reishit Chochmah about Gehinom and its terrifying punishments is true. He wasn’t trying to scare them, it’s actually worse than we can imagine. The fire, the judgment, it’s real.”

One of the students became physically ill from hearing these words. When the Vilna Gaon heard about it, he went to fulfill the mitzvah of visiting the sick. The students expected the Gaon to comfort the young man and tell him not to take it so seriously. But instead, the Gaon said, “Everything I told you is one hundred percent true. And it’s only a small part of what actually happens. We can't begin to grasp the suffering of Gehinom. But I forgot to tell you something important, no one can understand how much suffering in this world can protect a person from what they might face there.”

Rabbi Galinski turned back to the doctor. “That’s what this soul came to tell you. That’s why he came in your dream. To teach you the value of even a few more days of suffering in this world. He wasn’t trying to frighten you. He needed you to know that your decision changed his journey.”

The doctor, trembling, asked, “So what can I do now?”

Rabbi Galinski responded, “Think about it. This soul has already left the world. He’s facing judgment. Do you think he had nothing better to do than come visit you in a dream? He needed permission from Heaven to do that. Why was it granted? Because you were responsible for ending his chance to complete his correction. And because of that, you’re the one who can help fix it. You can help him reach Gan Eden.”

The doctor leaned forward. “How can I do that?”

Rabbi Galinski said, “Begin doing teshuvah, return to Hashem. Every mitzvah you do now will help him as well. Your merits will be counted in his favor.”

The doctor asked one more question. “But until I actually do the mitzvot, will they still count for him?”

Rabbi Galinski smiled and said, “Yes. Rashi says this clearly. When the Jewish people were told to bring the Korban Pesach, they didn’t actually bring it right away. But the Torah still says they did, because they accepted it in their hearts. When you sincerely commit to change, Heaven already considers it as if you’ve done it.”

And the doctor returned with a full heart. He began to walk the path of mitzvot, and in doing so, gave peace to the soul that had visited him in a dream.

Courtesy of the Dirshu website