Shabbat in the Kanievsky Home: Torah, Light, and Loving Warmth

"Some of my most cherished childhood memories are wrapped in the beauty of Shabbat and the Jewish holidays," writes Rebbetzin Tzivyon in her heartfelt book My Mother's Home. "Not everything can be captured in words, but I’ve tried to draw a picture of the home I grew up in, and share some meaningful customs I remember from both childhood and later years. Of course, these stories are not meant to serve as halachic rulings."

1. Thursday preparations for Shabbat
Mother began preparing for Shabbat on Thursday with emotion and devotion. The Shabbat spirit was already felt in the house then. As she baked challah and cakes, she would hum Shabbat melodies and say with joy before each dish, "This is in honor of the holy Shabbat." When she received an invitation to a wedding on a Thursday, she would wonder how it could be held that evening. For her, Thursday nights were sacred, set aside entirely for preparing for Shabbat.

2. Lighting one olive oil candle after her mother's passing
Mother used to light wax candles. But after her mother, Grandmother Rebbetzin Elyashiv, passed away, she made sure to light at least one candle with olive oil in her honor. Sometimes the lamp would tip over during the pre-Shabbat rush, spilling oil everywhere, but she never lost her calm. She would quickly clean up, prepare a new candle, and light with a sense of peace and purpose.

3. Candle lighting on holidays
Following Father's instruction, Mother would always light holiday candles before sunset, not after the holiday began.

4. No electricity on Shabbat, not even from a generator
Shabbat felt entirely different from the weekdays. Following the ruling of the Chazon Ish, Father held that one should not use electricity generated through Shabbat desecration. He also avoided using private generators because of concerns about how it appeared to others. Instead, we lit the house with a soft gas lamp called a Lux lamp. Its gentle glow added to the calm, holy atmosphere we longed for all week.

5. Torah parables during the meal
As children, our Shabbat meals were simple family affairs. Father would share divrei Torah, speak with us, and tell us parables from the Maggid of Dubno. His stories were mesmerizing. We waited all week for them.

6. Walks filled with Torah stories
After the meal, we would go for a walk with Father. During those quiet strolls, he would tell us stories from the Gemara and share things he had learned or heard. To this day, we look back on those walks with deep longing.

7. A Friday night table filled with guests
In later years, the Friday night meal became much larger. People would come to Mother before Shabbat, saying they had nowhere to eat, and she would warmly invite them to join us. The library would fill up with guests, leaving hardly any space. Mother cared for everyone with joy and sincerity. I will never forget the atmosphere. Father spoke only Torah, and Mother’s radiant face filled the room with warmth and the joy of doing mitzvot.

8. Singing Shabbat songs
Father sang Shabbat songs during both the Friday night and Shabbat day meals. Once, my son visited Grandfather Rabbi Elyashiv and joined him for a meal. Grandfather assumed that, due to Father’s intense devotion to Torah study, he probably didn’t sing. But he was touched to hear that Father not only sang, but insisted on it.

9. Eating chicken at the third meal
Even during Seudah Shlishit, the third meal of Shabbat, we would eat a little bit of chicken. This practice began after the well-known Jerusalem speaker Rabbi Ben-Zion Yadler once visited our grandfather, the Steipler, and mentioned that the third meal should also be honored with meat. From that day on, it became our family’s custom and was never stopped.

10. Melaveh Malkah right after Havdalah
Right after Havdalah, we would eat the Melaveh Malkah meal, even if we were still full. Once, I had terrible stomach pain and hoped for an exception. But Father insisted. He gave me a small piece of challah and gently said, "Eat this kezayit, it won’t hurt you."

Mother would tell us to turn on all the lights in the house after Shabbat, as the Mishnah Berurah teaches that it’s customary to brighten the home after Shabbat ends.

Right after Melaveh Malkah, Father would fold his Shabbat tallit while singing the special poem HaMavdil Bein Kodesh L’chol. Then he would change into weekday clothes. At that moment, we would all rush to prepare the library for the new week by replacing the Shabbat tablecloth, sweeping the floor and Father would quietly return to his beloved Torah learning.

From the book My Mother's Home, shared by the Dirshu website