A Grandfather’s Forgiveness: Turning Tragedy into Kindness and Faith

Rabbi Israel Leichter is well known in Bnei Brak. Many know him as the head of a soup kitchen, a kind and energetic Chassid who dedicates himself to acts of chesed (kindness). Others know him as a respected Torah scholar. But in recent years, his name has reached people far beyond his community, because of one heartbreaking and powerful story: how he coped with the death of his grandson, who was accidentally left in a car about four years ago.

The tragedy took place on Thursday, the 12th of Elul 5772. Little Chanoch Boimel, Rabbi Leichter’s beloved grandson, waved goodbye to his mother as he left home. Neither of them imagined it would be the last time they would see each other.

“Looking back, I truly believe we saw the hand of Heaven in all this,” Rabbi Leichter recalls. “That last night of his life, Chanoch couldn’t fall asleep. The Gemara teaches, ‘Even if a person doesn’t know, his mazal (spiritual destiny) knows.’ His soul must have felt something was coming.”

In the morning, as soon as Chanoch entered the car, he fell asleep. The driver got out and locked the car, unaware. It wasn’t until the afternoon, when the driver came back to drive another teacher, that the second teacher opened the back door and found Chanoch. The driver fainted on the spot.

The pain Rabbi Leichter felt as a grandfather cannot be described. “Chanoch was a very special child. Every time he entered the house, he brought light with him. He gave us so much joy.”

But alongside the deep sorrow, Rabbi Leichter says something remarkable: he never felt anger toward the teacher whose mistake caused the tragedy. Instead, he chose to forgive him. Not only that, he formed a close connection with him, and together they created an organization called “Life and Education for the Path.” This organization works to prevent more tragedies like this one, whether through laws, education, or new safety devices.

How Could He Forgive So Easily?

It’s hard to believe, but even during the shiva (seven-day mourning period), Rabbi Leichter sent a message to the driver’s family, inviting the driver to come and pay a shiva visit. The driver eventually came, he was almost dragged in and saw something that left him stunned. A sign hung on the wall asking visitors to pray for him: “Please daven (pray) for Nachman Shimon ben Zehava, that no harm should come to him and that he shouldn’t suffer.” At the bottom of the sign were the signatures of the Boimel and Leichter families.

“I couldn’t bear to see his pain,” says Rabbi Leichter. “It hurt me. I didn’t want him to suffer. The Jewish people are like one body, 248 limbs. If one limb is in pain, the whole body feels it.”

Didn’t You Feel Anger or Bitterness Toward Him?

“Honestly? Not at all,” he says. “Every day I daven and say that I believe no one in the world can do anything to me, not harm, not pain. Everything comes from Hashem. If something happens, it’s only because Hashem willed it. If I don’t forgive, the problem is mine, not his.”

He adds, “My daughter and son-in-law also felt this way. From the beginning, they accepted their suffering with love. I remember hearing my daughter say during the shiva, ‘Chanoch’s passing was already written on Rosh Hashanah and sealed on Yom Kippur. It was meant to be. I just thank Hashem for the extra time we had with him.’”

A Lesson in Forgiveness

Rabbi Leichter says again and again: “This was a decree from Heaven. And we can’t understand decrees. I told this to the driver during the shiva. I said, ‘We’re believers, children of believers. Hashem runs the world. He decides what happens.’”

To explain, he gave a parable: “If I get a letter saying I owe money, should I beat the mailman who brought it? Of course not! And even more, what if the sender is my father, who only wants good for me? So how could I be angry?”

He also explains that the entire world stands on forgiveness and mercy. “Hashem created the world on Rosh Hashanah. After Adam sinned, Hashem forgave him. At Har Sinai (Mount Sinai), when the Jewish people were on the highest level, they sinned with the golden calf. But Hashem forgave them again, saying, ‘I have forgiven.’ That’s where we learn about the 13 middot (attributes) of mercy, which we say during this time of year. Forgiveness is part of the world’s foundation.”

If We Forgive Others, Hashem Will Forgive Us

“As we stand before judgment on the Yamim Noraim (High Holidays), we all beg Hashem for mercy. We ask Him to go beyond strict judgment and treat us with compassion. But how can we ask for this if we don’t do it ourselves?”

“There are times when we feel hurt, and maybe we’re right. But if we can show ahavat chinam (unconditional love), even to those who wrong us, Hashem will respond with mercy. The Gemara says, ‘Whoever forgives others, Hashem will forgive all their sins.’ And who doesn’t want that?”

A Film That Touched Millions

Rabbi Leichter shares one more moving story. He heard it from the grandson of the great Rabbi David Grossman. The grandson went to China as a Chabad shaliach (emissary) and opened a Chabad House. One day, he asked a Jewish man working there if he wanted to put on tefillin. The man refused again and again, finally exploding, “I hate you religious people. Don’t talk to me again.”

The shaliach stepped back. But one day, the same man came to him and asked, “Can you help me put on tefillin?”

Surprised, the shaliach helped him, and they said Shema together. The man explained, “Today I had some free time at work and was browsing online. I found a film made by Channel 10 and Hidabroot, an interview with Rabbi Leichter. After watching it, everything changed. I saw what real Torah Jews are like. And I said to myself: If this is what Haredim are, then I want to be one too.”

That man completely changed his life. He began keeping kosher, observing family purity, and putting on tefillin daily. Rabbi Leichter adds, “I hear about people like him all the time. There are already millions who’ve seen that film. I think of all the zechut (merit) my grandson Chanoch must have because of it.”

How Do You Feel About the Tremendous Impact You’ve Made?

“To be honest, I’m just a simple person. But I was blessed to have amazing parents who gave me strong emunah (faith). I was also close to the Lelover Rebbe, who was known for his deep love for every Jew. I don’t take credit. But I’m happy that others are finding strength in Hashem and maybe through all this, I’ll merit to keep growing in my own teshuvah (return to Hashem).”