Parashat Vayeshev: How Can We Operate Under Trauma?

A. "And Jacob dwelled in the land of his father's sojournings, in the land of Canaan. These are the generations of Jacob - Joseph being seventeen years old, was shepherding the flock with his brothers, and he was a lad with the sons of Bilhah and the sons of Zilpah, his father's wives; and Joseph brought back a bad report about them to their father. Now Israel loved Joseph more than all his sons, because he was a son of old age to him, and he made him a coat of many colors. When his brothers saw that their father loved him more than all his brothers, they hated him and could not speak peaceably to him." Joseph's childhood was not rosy. Before examining his adolescence, it is necessary to look at the beginnings of his life: "She conceived, and bore a son, and said, Hashem has taken away my reproach. So she called his name Joseph, saying, May Hashem add to me another son. When Rachel gave birth to Joseph, Jacob said to Laban, Send me away that I may go to my own place and to my country." Joseph was born into a complex, intricate, and fascinating family drama. This is perhaps the reason Nobel Prize-winning author Thomas Mann dedicated a series of four books to it, titled "Joseph and His Brothers," and author Leo Tolstoy called Joseph's story a masterpiece. The story even became a beloved and successful musical on Broadway and worldwide. Beyond its literary qualities and spiritual meanings, on a personal-existential level, Joseph's life involved trauma and overcoming. Even in his mother's womb, Joseph surely heard and felt, whether consciously or not, the intrigues surrounding his family. His name given at birth reflects his mother's pain and jealousy, as well as her shame. Additionally, his name expresses his mother's dissatisfaction with him alone, as she desires another son. What kind of feeling arises in the heart of the young Joseph, and how can one operate amidst such a challenging childhood landscape?

B. The concept of "traumatic birth" relates to the mother's mental health in the context of labor pains and crises, and subsequently to the feelings of the infant. It is likely that Rachel, having been barren for years, envying her older sister's success, and pleading, "Give me children, or else I die," struggled with various stress disorders and was influenced by preceding family and personal events around the time of birth and shortly after. More likely, one can see that Joseph himself bore on his shoulders, his mother’s trauma, his family's, and naturally, his own trauma, anxiety, and a profound sense of alienation. Beyond his name, which constantly serves as a "flashback" of his mother’s pain and perhaps her insufficient love for him, the stresses and tensions in the air surely also affected Joseph – his childhood was undoubtedly difficult: At birth, his family relocated to distance themselves from the wicked grandfather. Subsequently, the stressful encounter with Esau, the dividing of the camp, and the repeated bowings – with their symbolic meaning, of Jacob's entire family before the wicked uncle. Later, the rape of his sister Dinah by Shechem the son of Hamor. Following that, the birth of his brother Benjamin – a joyous event mixed with the tragedy of his mother Rachel's death "on the way to Ephrath" – where it is not expressly said that his father mourned her, nor did he bring her to the patriarchs' tomb in the Cave of the Patriarchs. If that weren't enough to shake his spirit and resilience, threatening the sense of security needed for healthy development, the parashah opens by describing the hatred and jealousy of his older brothers: – "They hated him and could not speak peaceably to him".

C. Rashi writes on the opening words of the parashah – "And Jacob dwelled": "Jacob wished to dwell in peace, but the troubles of Joseph jumped upon him. Hashem says: Is it not enough for the righteous what is prepared for them in the World to Come, that they seek to dwell in tranquility in this world?!" The holy Shelah notes a hint to Jacob's main troubles in the initials of the word - Vayeshev (dwelled): "Those who search for hints say these four are indicated in the word 'Vayeshev', which are the second letters of the troubles: V' from Vayeshev the second letter from Joseph, Y' from Vayeshev the second letter from Dinah, S' from Vayeshev the second letter from Esau, B' from Vayeshev the second letter from Laban". This world is complex; it is not a place to dwell in rest as a way of life. Although Jacob too returned from a challenging journey in exile, facing difficult challenges, his desire to sit and rest is not feasible. The condition of being stagnant, of standing still, of sitting, is not recommended for a person regularly. Stagnation opposes human health and can cause sorrow and illness, as Rav Kook states: "The sorrow of standing in one place is deep and penetrates to the depths of the soul." Joseph's life illuminates this point, hinted at by the pit into which he was thrown. When Joseph was thrown into the pit by his brothers – another trauma in his life's saga, Rashi brings the words of the Talmud that although the pit was empty: "There was no water in it, but there were snakes and scorpions." Neutrality can invite troubles, and so can emptiness. The pit, or any vessel-like consciousness, soul, and knowledge, if not fulfilling their purpose with living water and positive, dynamic action, will ultimately be filled with negativity – with snakes and scorpions. Similarly, the Lubavitcher Rebbe wrote: "A person's service to their Maker is akin to climbing a mountain, and it is known that when a person climbs and ascends the mountain, it is nearly impossible not to slide back and fall if they stop midway up the slope; they must continue their ascent without pause... the continuous ascent is necessary not only for the sake of ascent itself but also to prevent any descent. And that is, one must not be satisfied with the level he has reached so far, for this satisfaction and not ascending from level to level in holy matters will ultimately bring about a descent." Further, the Lubavitcher Rebbe connects this with the holiday of Chanukah, celebrated closely to the parashahs Vayeshev and Miketz: "This is emphasized in the mitzvah of lighting the Chanukah candle, where those who are meticulous observe that on the first day they light one, and thereafter they increase, because we ascend in holiness and do not descend."

D. Shlomo Ben-Yosef was born in Poland in 1913 and immigrated to the land of Israel as an immigrant in the "Even If" aliyah – which also signifies his spirited nature, Zionism, and love of the homeland. During the Arab Revolt, Ben-Yosef was sentenced to death by the British Mandate for an act of revenge he carried out, even though it did not succeed. Ben-Yosef remains in the national memory as one of the "gallows immigrants," executed for their acts for the establishment of the state. Before he was executed, standing with his head held high, and grateful for going to "die for our land," he proudly sang the song by the poet and commander of the Irgun – Ze'ev Jabotinsky: "Challenge every obstacle and constraint! Whether you rise or fall – ignite the fire of rebellion, burn nothingness: for tranquility is mud, the blood and soul are abandoned, for the hidden splendor! To die or conquer the mountain."

E. Without delving into a psychological analysis of Joseph's character and the effects of his family background and discussing issues of self-esteem or its opposite – excessive narcissism, it can be identified that Joseph realizes he has two main practical options: to collapse under the emotional inheritance received from his family – feelings of guilt, rejection, alienation, trauma, and existential loneliness, or to act in reality, dream big and aim higher and higher – despite everything. An empowering psychological treatment was probably not accessible to him, but his famous dreams of greatness and seeking recognition from his family reveal his choice for life and moving away from the victim mentality to which he was born. Thus, we also see that Joseph, over the years, and especially in difficult situations – in the pit he was thrown into and in the prison, he does not complain about his condition, does not express bitterness, nor does he choose the path of violence or delinquency, which might have been understandable in such distressing situations. Joseph continues to adhere to his life strategy – to believe in himself, aim and rise from every pit he is thrown into, and transcend reality – "Joseph is a fruitful bough."

F. "It turns out that in each of Israel, the aspect of Joseph is connected, which is the aspect of peace," wrote Rabbi Nachman of Breslov. Indeed, reading about Joseph's choices, and more so – about his eventual transformation into a provider for the entire land of Egypt, gives hope and faith that it is possible to recover and build from a place initially filled with despair and tragedy. Understanding the movement of "descent for the sake of ascent" characterizing Joseph's life saga is, in a sense, understanding the movement of the world – that both movements are necessary for completion, with the main trend being perpetual elevation and an increase in light. As Rav Kook's words allow for a more optimistic perspective even in concealment: "The rises and falls are constant, in the state of the individual and in the state of the world as a whole, but overall the movement is one of ascent and enhancement. And the alternation of states even during a great descent only holds the value of the moon's fullness and its diminishment, or the sea's ebb and flow, or the internal breathing that returns the spirit to the inner being of the living, and the external that pushes it outward, or wakefulness and sleep, although they seem opposites, together they produce complete life."

Dr. Roi Cohen is a Doctor of Philosophy from the Hebrew University, a lawyer and mediator, producer, director, and content creator.