From the Soccer Field to the Beit Midrash: My Journey Back

Hashem reaches out to us in many different ways. Sometimes He calls gently, through beauty and peace. And other times, when we’re not paying attention, that call comes as something much harder, a wake-up call we can’t ignore. That’s what happened to Benjamin Mesilati, a former professional soccer player who had been on the field since he was 12. He played in Israel’s National League and served as a goalkeeper for several teams. He was successful and well-known. But he left soccer behind, not at the end of his career, but right at its peak.

Although Benjamin grew up in a traditional Jewish home, he was educated in completely secular schools. During his army service, he started becoming more curious about Judaism. He would regularly listen to recorded Torah classes, and his love for Hashem and for people who kept the mitzvot (commandments) began to grow. But while he loved what he was learning, he didn’t put it into action right away. His life on the soccer field went on as usual.

That is, until everything changed.

Benjamin, now 52, is a coach and business owner in Ashkelon. At age 35, he reached a crossroads. For months, he wrestled with the idea of giving up soccer because of Shabbat. In professional sports, games on Shabbat are the norm and so is the big money that comes with them. He went to speak with a great rabbi, who told him, “You’ll see, you won’t lose anything by leaving the field.” Benjamin wanted to leave. He felt ready. But the yetzer hara (evil inclination) got the better of him, and he kept playing for another full year.

Then came the final sign. A difficult and painful accident brought everything to a halt. “All my life I wanted to connect to Torah and mitzvot,” Benjamin says, “but the accident sped up the process. After it happened, I remembered the rabbi’s words and regretted that I needed such a strong blow to finally listen. I still remember being 12 years old, heading to a soccer match on Shabbat, and seeing kids my age walking to synagogue with their fathers. I always felt a longing. I wanted to be like them. That feeling never left me, but something stronger kept pulling me in the other direction until now.”

Right after the accident, he left the world of soccer behind and began heading down a completely different path. Alongside his spiritual growth, he enrolled in industrial management studies at Sapir College, then went on to earn a master’s degree in Arabic language and literature at Beit Berl College. He also wrote a book called BeniGOOD for Expectations (a Hebrew wordplay), reflecting his love for creative expression.

When his former teammates heard he had left soccer to return to Torah, many weren’t surprised. “A lot of them said, ‘We always knew you’d come back to Judaism.’ Looking back, I can’t disagree. I think about the kindness and warmth I grew up with like the 30 foster children who lived in our home over the years. Or my mother, standing in the kitchen cooking, silently moving her lips in prayer. It all planted something deep inside me.”

On Getting Married at 40: “I Couldn't Ask for More”

Seventeen years have passed since Benjamin stepped off the field. Today he runs a successful business helping people reduce municipal property taxes. At the same time, he’s also a certified life coach based on Torah principles and a popular speaker who gives lectures on spiritual growth.

Property tax consulting sounds like an unusual job for someone with such a giving nature.

Benjamin smiles. “I like to say I have a little of this and a little of that. Thank G-d, it all fits.”

And what about soccer?

“I’ve completely left it behind. I don’t want to offend anyone, but to me, it’s a waste of precious time. There are so many meaningful things in this world, so many ways to connect to Torah and mitzvot. Even when I was a player, I never enjoyed watching games. Now, it’s not even a part of my world.”

Do you ever look back and wonder “what if”?

“I try not to. Those kinds of questions only hold you back. We go through what we need to go through and that’s the best path for us. Hashem knew exactly what I needed to become the person I am today.”

Just as Hashem knew to awaken him at age 35 and not earlier. And just as He knew that Benjamin would find his soulmate at age 40. He describes his wife as “everything to me, the promised land that Hashem gave me in the middle of a desert.”

“People think salvation brings joy,” he adds, “but I say: joy brings salvation. Even when I was single into my forties, I kept working on simcha (joy), doing my best to stay upbeat and grateful. I believe that’s what opened the gates of blessing. Now I’m married to a woman who’s exactly what I needed, and we have five amazing children. It was worth the wait.”

He met his wife through a matchmaker. They got engaged a month later and were married two months after that.

Advice to Older Singles Before Rosh Hashanah

What would you say to older singles now, as Rosh Hashanah approaches?

“I think one of the biggest obstacles is the endless list people carry with them. Without realizing it, they bring these long wish lists to Hashem and hope He checks every box. But the truth is, there’s no such thing as 100%. Sometimes, when we spot something we don’t like in the other person, it’s actually a mirror of something in us. My advice is: shorten the list. Trust Hashem. He’s been making matches since the beginning of time. Your name is already on His list. Just don’t block the blessings He wants to give you over one or two things that might not matter in the end.”

In recent years, Benjamin has found tremendous spiritual inspiration through the speakers on the Hidabroot website, especially Rabbi Zamir Cohen. “Rabbi Cohen is a joyful gift from Hashem, sent to rescue lost souls,” he says. He also found guidance from Rabbi and life coach Eliyahu Shiri, with whom he studied, and Rabbi Tzvi Inbal, his chavruta (Torah study partner) for the last ten years.

Benjamin has become a gifted lecturer and life coach. These days, he’s launching a new workshop called The Forces of Change in the Human Soul, which helps people grow and transform many areas of their lives.

“It’s a program that totally shifts your mindset,” he says. “People don’t really understand how their thoughts shape their entire reality. My job is to give them tools to rewire their thinking and in doing so, build a healthier, happier life. It’s like creating a new brain.”

Who is this for? And how soon can someone see results?

“These tools are straight from the Torah, so they apply to everyone. Anyone who cares about their neshama (soul), who wants to understand why they behave the way they do and how to change itת this is for them. I won’t praise myself, but I’ll just say: if you show up and do the work, you’ll start seeing changes from the very first session.

“Why? Because the moment you know where you’re headed and whyת you begin to feel joy, even before you arrive.

“Everything we are, everything we’ve achievedת it all began as a thought. The Chabad Rebbe, the Tzemach Tzedek, famously said: ‘Think good, and it will be good.’ That’s not just a nice saying. It’s the key. If you want to bring something good into the world, it has to begin in your mind. That’s how our ancestors lived. That’s how we’re meant to live, too.

“If you’re wondering how to get started there are many answers today. You just have to be willing to open your eyes, open your heart, and take that first step. Hashem will take care of the rest.”