Amir Benayoun: “Today I Write from a Purer Place”

I was at the peak of my career performing in Tel Aviv, selling albums, getting attention. Outwardly, everything seemed perfect. But deep down, I felt empty.

My own pride led me to a dark place. I stopped believing in people. I began to stereotype and judge entire groups unfairly. I closed myself off from hearing any differing opinions. It was as if I was walking further and further away from truth, and I knew something wasn’t right. I was lying to myself, and that lie kept growing until it finally exploded. That was the turning point.

I decided to step away from everything. I was in a state of emotional and spiritual pain that’s hard to put into words. I needed to heal. I started praying in shul (synagogue) every day and learning a bit of Torah. A rabbi came into my life and helped guide me what to learn, how to understand it. Slowly, things began to make sense. I started to see what I had been missing, and what really matters in life.

Through this journey and following my brother’s example, I became religious. That decision led me to build a family, to get married and raise children who would grow up with Torah and mitzvot (commandments). Sometimes I think, what would I be like today if I hadn’t made that choice? It’s easy to imagine myself still drifting, a 37-year-old bachelor with no direction, letting life pass by without purpose.

People assume that putting on a kippah is a huge leap. But for me, the moment I chose to wear one, it felt completely natural. I remember the first time I went on stage with a kippah. It just felt right. The audience didn’t question it or make it awkward. They accepted it as a part of me, and for that I thank Hashem.

Today, when I write songs even though I create from the same deep emotional place I did ten years ago, it now comes from a cleaner, more honest place. Back then, I wrote about faith, love, joy but I didn’t fully understand what those things truly meant. Now I’m beginning to connect with them in a much more real and spiritual way.

In my prayers, I ask Hashem to help me feel who I truly am. I ask to understand what He wants from me, and what I’m supposed to give to the world. I pray that my children should have long, meaningful lives, that they should be yirei shamayim (a deep love and respect for Hashem) and connected to Torah, because the Torah is the foundation of everything.

I haven’t learned as much Torah in my life as I’d like. But I know this for sure: without Torah, there is nothing. May Hashem bless all of us, me, my family, and all of Am Yisrael with success, clarity, and closeness to Him.