How to Handle a Telemarketer according to the Torah

Cold Calling

"We're calling from the 'Outstretched Hand' organization," a voice was heard from the other end of the line. Yossi sighed inwardly, knowing exactly what was coming. He didn't disrespect, heaven forbid, the activities of such organizations and the generous people who help others in all areas of life. But it seemed to him, if he wasn't mistaken, that this was the tenth call of this kind he had received this week from one organization or another, many of which he had never heard of.

"I'm sure," he told his wife, "that there are many wonderful organizations that truly do a lot of good. But I don't know them all and I don't know how trustworthy they are. Anyone can call and tell stories. Why should I give my credit card number to some total stranger?"

"I think about the telemarketers," his wife said. "They work so hard, trying their best to convince people to make a donation. That's their job, that's their livelihood, and there are people who answer them angrily or slam the phone down on them."

"One shouldn't behave like that," Yossi agreed, "but what should a person do if they don't want to donate, and the telemarketer is very persuasive and puts on a lot of pressure? There are people who know how to accept refusal gracefully, but others push and don't let go."

What, indeed, should a person do when pressured or nagged to do something they're not interested in? How does one refuse to donate without hurting the other person's feelings?

A Torah Response

Hanging up the phone without a word is never respectful. But how about saying, "I'm sorry but I'm not interested, thanks, goodbye" before hanging up. Is that okay?

Let's analyze this question from several perspectives:

A. From the perspective of harming one's own character traits – Even if the telemarketer isn't hurt, such behavior could negatively impact the person's own character traits.

B. From the perspective of hurting the dignity of others (the telemarketer) – Some maintain that it's acceptable to say a few words and hang up, since it's clear that the telemarketer wouldn't want to continue the conversation if they knew the person wasn't interested in donating, and would therefore be happy to find out as quickly as possible so they can move on to another potential donor. Nonetheless, one should try to conclude the call in a respectful and polite manner, such as by saying: "I'm sorry, I can't continue this conversation," "I understand, but this doesn't work for me right now," and so forth. One should avoid getting into an argument about why we decide not to donate, and should instead clarify that we recognize the importance of their cause, but have decided not to contribute.

The Talmud learns from the verse, "And you extend your soul to the hungry" that even if a person cannot help, they should show that they would like to. Therefore, one can end a conversation with a telemarketer by saying, "I'm sorry, I cannot help. May you have blessing and success." This way, the telemarketer will feel that they were treated with respect.

In fact, we don't have to wait for the next charity call to practice this. Any time someone wants to talk to you and you really don't have time, try to curtail the conversation respectfully, without hurting their feelings.

From the book Man's Duty in His World - Issues in Ethics and Character for the Entire Family.