Lashon Hara? It Doesn't Speak to Me!

Beware of Lashon Hara

Lashon Hara (evil speech) is one of the central topics in Judaism, appearing many times in the Torah and rabbinic literature. The prohibition of Lashon Hara refers to any negative speech about another person, even if it's true. The importance of maintaining clean and correct speech is great, and negative speech can cause significant damage both to individuals and to the community.

The Mitzvah in the Torah

The prohibition against speaking Lashon Hara appears many times in the Torah. The most well-known verse is: "Do not go about as a talebearer among your people" (Vayikra 19:16). Additionally, in the Book of Proverbs it is written: "Death and life are in the power of the tongue" (Mishlei 18:21), which emphasizes the great power of speech and the need for caution in how we use it.

Importance of the Mitzvah

Lashon Hara not only harms the person being spoken about; it also harms the person speaking it and those listening. Negative speech creates a toxic environment, and reduces trust between people. In Rabbinic literature, it is emphasized that Lashon Hara is equivalent to the three most severe transgressions: idolatry, forbidden intimate relations, and murder.

Examples from the Torah

Miriam and Aaron: Miriam and Aaron spoke Lashon Hara about Moshe Rabbeinu (Moses) regarding the wife he had married, and as a result, Miriam was punished with tzara'at (a spiritual affliction that manifests on the skin, frequently mistranslated as leprosy) (Bamidbar 12).

The Spies: The spies who gave a negative report about the Land of Israel and caused the Jewish People to worry about entering the Promised Land were punished with dying in the desert (Bamidbar 14).

Reward for Observing the Mitzvah

The Sages emphasize the great reward for guarding one's tongue. A person who guards his speech gains inner peace, good health, and longevity. In Tehillim (Psalms 34:13-14) it is written: "Who is the man who desires life, who loves days to see good? Guard your tongue from evil and your lips from speaking deceit."

Practical Tips for Correct Speech

1. Plan Your Words in Advance

Think before speaking, and ask yourself whether what you're about to say is both positive and constructive.

2. Avoid Listening to Gossip

Don't just avoid speaking Lashon Hara; also refrain from listening to others who fail to guard their speech.

3. Study the Laws of Guarding Your Speech

Dedicate time to studying the laws of guarding your speech in Torah literature, such as the books by the Chofetz Chaim.

4. Keep a Gratitude Journal

Spend a few minutes each day writing down positive things about the people around you. This helps us focus on the good in others and reduces the tendency to speak Lashon Hara.

5. Practice Positive Speech

Make an effort for a day or week to speak only positive things. This practice will help internalize the importance of constructive and effective speech.

6. Consult with a Rabbi

When in doubt whether something is considered Lashon Hara, consult with a rabbi. 

7. Participate in Classes and Group Study

Join study groups or classes focusing on guarding against forbidden speech. Collaborative learning will help internalize the laws and maintain awareness of the topic.

8. Develop Patience and Tolerance

Working on the traits of patience and tolerance will help reduce the tendency to speak Lashon Hara. When we can put ourselves in other people's shoes and comprehend their challenges, we tend to judge and speak against them less.

9. Supportive Environment

Surround yourself with people who are also aware of the importance of guarding their speech. A supportive environment will strengthen and encourage you to do the right thing.

10. Identify Dangerous Situations

Recognize situations where you might end up speaking Lashon Hara, and try to avoid them. If you know that discussions on certain topics might lead to Lashon Hara, it's advisable to avoid bringing up the topic or participating in conversations about it.

11. Set Personal Goals

Set personal goals in the area of guarding your speech, such as a day without Lashon Hara or a week of only positive speech. Setting goals will help maintain motivation and awareness of the topic.

12. Self-Reflection

At the end of each day, think back to the conversations you had and decide whether you were careful enough. Learn from mistakes and strive to improve.

13. Feedback from Your Environment

Ask friends and family to alert you if they notice you falling into Lashon Hara. This way you'll receive positive feedback and can correct yourself in real-time.

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Guarding against forbidden speech is a mitzvah we encounter constantly, requiring ongoing awareness and preparation in advance. Through practice, study, and encouragement from our environment, we can maintain clean and constructive speech, create a positive environment, and earn great reward.

Let us all remember the power of the tongue and use it only for good, and strive to be like the Chofetz Chaim, seeing and focusing on the good in our lives.