What Does It Mean to Be “Secular”? Understanding Jewish Identity and the Journey of Strengthening Faith

Avi asks: “Hi. I know people who proudly call themselves secular, and I’d like to understand what that really means. If I’m not yet fully observant but I believe in God and want to grow stronger, am I still considered secular?”

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Dear Avi, and thank you for your question.
In truth, it’s best not to categorize Jews at all. Even young children should be taught that there are Jews who observe more mitzvot, and others who struggle with observance — and also many who simply never had the chance to grow up with Torah values or understand their depth. In the end, we are all Jews, and equally part of one nation.

Today, there are millions of traditional Jews who try to fulfill mitzvot to the best of their ability by putting on tefillin, keeping holidays, and listening to Torah classes. Even if their lifestyle isn’t fully religious, they are certainly not “secular” if they desire to live according to the Torah and are making an effort.

A Better Term: “Strengthening”

If someone isn’t yet fully observant but is on the path toward greater faith, what should he call himself? Personally, I love the term “mitchazek” (getting stronger). When people ask about your level of observance, you can proudly say: “I’m getting stronger.”

Many who have already returned fully to religious life still use this term. It reflects humility and self-awareness — the recognition that spiritual growth never ends, and that every person is always in the process of improving.

The Problem with the Word “Secular”

Sadly, there are Jews who take pride in calling themselves “chiloni” (secular) and even praise secularism as a value. These people, who often did not grow up connected to Judaism, need to understand the emptiness of that definition.

Here’s a simple, and slightly humorous question to ask anyone who proudly identifies as secular: “Dear secular friend, can you define what ‘secularism’ means without using the word ‘not’?”

Usually, they can’t. If they try to say, “Secularism stands for democracy,” you can ask: “So if you weren’t a democrat, would you stop being secular?”

Clearly, secularism has nothing to do with politics. Even the Soviet Union was a secular society — yet it was totalitarian and anti-democratic. If they answer that secularism means being humanitarian, for equality and human rights, ask again: “Does that mean someone who mistreats others can’t be called secular?”

Of course not — many immoral people still call themselves secular. You never hear of a politician saying, “That criminal embarrasses secularism!” So the term “secular” does not actually describe moral or social values.

In Hebrew, “chiloni” comes from “chol” — meaning non-holy, ordinary, or devoid of sanctity. A person who identifies as secular essentially defines himself by what he lacks — a life without holiness, without divine purpose. It’s like taking pride in having an empty carriage instead of a full one.

Rather than adopting a negative label, it’s far better to call yourself simply “a Jew” or “traditional”, expressing your spiritual identity in a positive, Jewish way.

Anyone who seeks to reconnect with Judaism, even slowly and quietly, can proudly say: “I’m getting stronger.”

“I Believe, but I’m Still Secular…”

Recently, I received a touching message from a woman named Gila (name changed): “I believe there’s a Creator and I fear the World to Come. But I’m secular, I always have been, and I don’t believe I can ever truly return to religion. Still, I can’t stop thinking about it.”

I replied to her: Gila, your soul is clearly sensitive and awake — that’s why your heart keeps drawing you back to your Jewish identity and to God. Let me tell you a secret: You’re not really secular — and probably never were.

You likely fast on Yom Kippur, circumcised your sons, avoid chametz on Passover, and would never eat pork. You probably eat kosher meat, have a mezuzah on your door, and had or will have a Jewish wedding under a chuppah.

That means you already observe many Torah commandments, whether you realize it or not! You are, in truth, a traditional Jew on a journey of gradual spiritual awakening. From now on, don’t say “I’m secular.” Say “I’m getting stronger.”

Start with Small, Meaningful Steps

Continue to grow in small, practical ways, according to your strength and ability. Even lighting Shabbat candles, sharing a Friday-night family meal, or choosing not to light fire on Shabbat are precious mitzvot. Each small effort is a jewel for your soul.

Watching Torah lessons, reading, or reflecting on your faith, all count as spiritual acts of great value. Every little mitzvah is like a diamond added to your treasure chest for the World to Come.

The Parable of the Jewels – From the Chafetz Chaim

The Chafetz Chaim (Rabbi Yisrael Meir Kagan) once compared mitzvot to jewels on the seashore: A weary man comes home from work and walks along the beach, only to find it covered in pearls and gold. If he works through the night, he’ll become wealthy beyond measure. But overwhelmed, he sighs: “There’s too much to collect. I’ll never gather it all.” So he gives up and walks away empty-handed.

What folly! Even if he couldn’t take it all, every jewel he picked up would make him richer for life.

So too, says the Chafetz Chaim, a person who gives up on spiritual growth because it feels impossible to “do everything” loses treasures beyond imagination. Each mitzvah — even a single word of prayer, or refraining from speaking harm, is a priceless gem.

Every Mitzvah Counts

Our sages teach: “Every moment a person restrains his tongue, he earns a hidden light that no angel can comprehend.” (Vilna Gaon, Iggeret HaGra)

“When a person departs from this world, neither gold nor silver accompany him, but only Torah and good deeds.” (Pirkei Avot 6:9)

Every mitzvah adds light. Even if we can’t do them all, doing what we can brings divine joy and reward. God sees the heart, the effort, and the sincere will to grow.

The Lifelong Journey of Teshuvah

Repentance is not a one-time act, but a lifelong journey. Every good deed, every improvement, and every act of self-control or kindness, is part of that path. Even a single thought of repentance is a mitzvah.

As the Talmud says: “Even a passing thought of repentance brings merit.” (Kiddushin 49b)

As the Midrash teaches: “God does not demand more than a person’s strength.” (Shemot Rabbah 34:1)

He sees not just our actions, but our inner heart: “For man sees with the eyes, but the Lord sees into the heart.” (Shmuel I,16:7)

The Message: Never Despair

God understands you deeply — your limits, your fears, and your hopes. You don’t need to be perfect. You just need to keep moving forward, step by step.

Each mitzvah is another jewel for eternity. Each prayer, another light in your soul. And every small effort to grow brings you closer to the One who created you with love.

In truth, we are all “getting stronger.” That is the journey of life, and the essence of being a Jew.