Angry Drivers and Online Commenters: How Would Torah Giants Respond?

In the age of social media and online comments, many of us are quick to type harsh words. Every argument brings out the 'best' in people, and the insults and curses that often appear in responses and arguments are too awful to repeat here. Not to mention drivers who open their windows and unleash a barrage of insults at anyone who cuts them off...

But is this Jewish behavior? Our ancestors treated their speech with sacred reverence. It's astonishing to see how far we've fallen, and horrifying to imagine what the responses of Torah giants would be to the casual insults that people direct at each other in our day and age.

Rav Sherira Gaon writes: "A person who embarrasses his fellow in public -- we place him in cherem (excommunication) until the offender appeases the victim." In other words, if a driver shouted unpleasant curses at another person, and people on the street heard it, the offender would be placed in cherem. No one could come within four cubits of him, he couldn't be counted in a minyan, until he appeased the person he embarrassed! If only we maintained such standards today...

In one of the Talmudic commentaries (Hagahot Mordechai on Tractate Kiddushin, cited in Sma, Choshen Mishpat 420:50) we find the case of a certain man who insulted a woman. The rabbi established his punishment: his sentence was to fast on Monday, Thursday, and the following Monday, to sit barefoot in front of the synagogue, and to publicly ask for forgiveness.

Now imagine arriving at the synagogue early in the morning and seeing someone sitting barefoot at the entrance. What happened? Perhaps a relative died? Did he lose his mind? As you approach, you realize he's fasting, already his third fast, and now he's going up to the bimah, wanting to say something. You're very curious. Is he collecting money for ten orphans? Has he discovered the Messiah has arrived? No, he's saying, "I insulted Mrs. Levy, and I want to atone for my sin." Where are we compared to people on such spiritual levels? How many times do we utter harsh words left and right, and about what? About utter nonsense...

And what about speaking ill of someone who has passed away? A great Torah scholar, the Mordechai, writes: "Speaking ill of those who dwell in the dust is a great sin requiring repentance through fasts, lashes, and monetary compensation." And in the name of Maharam of Rothenburg, the Rema writes that one must prostrate oneself on their graves and ask forgiveness in the presence of three people.

A word that leaves the mouth is like a bullet. In practical terms, it can cause harm, break up families, create discord between friends, and bring a person to depression and sorrow. Spiritually, it's a criminal offense. One must guard one's mouth at all costs, and if a person fails to do so, they need to seek atonement and  engage in serious repentance.