The Prohibition of Aggrandizing Oneself at Another's Expense

Sometimes we hurt others without being aware of it. In everyday life, there are many situations in which our words or actions may hurt others, even if we didn't intend to. For example, an innocent joke made among friends can hurt someone, a casual remark can be perceived as painful criticism, and lack of awareness of someone's needs can lead to offending their dignity.

"Whoever honors himself at the expense of another's disgrace has no share in the World to Come." (Jerusalem Talmud Chagigah 2:1)

The meaning of this statement is that a person who tries to enhance his status by humiliating others commits such a serious transgression that it deprives him of his share in the World to Come. We are expected to accord other people the same respect we would like ourselves, as we were all created in Hashem's image. Any slight to a person's dignity is a slight to the Creator's honor. 

Unintentional Harm to Others - Practical Examples

Below are several examples illustrating how, without realizing, people aggrandize themselves at other people's expense.

* If someone presents an idea in a group meeting and it's not well received, the others should not criticize the idea. If necessary, comments can be conveyed in private.

* If a work team collaborates on a project and the manager believes it was the work of only one of them, that person should clarify that it was a group effort and not take the entire credit for himself.

* If a customer struggles to understand a product or service, the employee must not belittle them or make them the butt of jokes.

* One may not spread rumors or speak negatively about customers.

* One should avoid discussing patients' medical conditions in front of others without their permission, even in professional conversations.

* No one should share negative or embarrassing information about someone, even if it's true.

* A teacher shouldn't punish a student in a way that humiliates them in front of their peers. Instead, they should speak to them in private to explain the mistake and how to correct it.

* If a student receives a low grade, the teacher shouldn't announce it before the class in a way that might embarrass them. Constructive and respectful feedback should be given in private.

* One may not speak critically of others in order to present themselves in a positive light ("Did you hear what she did? I would never do such a thing...")

* At family events, don't publicly mention embarrassing incidents that happened to other family members. Conversation should always be respectful.

* If a classmate doesn't know the answer to the teacher's question, don't flaunt your superior knowledge.

* Don't talk behind someone's back in a way that will hurt them or their reputation.

* If a friend tells you a secret, don't share the information with others.

* Avoid making "jokes" at the expense of friends.

* Don't dismiss other people's opinions when debating a topic. Respect their opinions even if you disagree.

* Don't boast about your successes in a way that diminishes others or creates feelings of inferiority in them.

* Avoid making intrusive comments or asking prying questions that might embarrass others.

* Don't complain about or slander a neighbor to other neighbors; approach them directly and respectfully if there's a problem.

* When community activities or events are held, give everyone the opportunity to participate and express themselves, and don't sideline those who may be less confident.

* Respect the traditions and customs of others, even if they differ from yours, and don't be arrogant or dismissive of them.

* Don't publish photos or videos of others in embarrassing or questionable situations, even if done in jest, and certainly not without their permission.

* If someone performs a mitzvah incorrectly, treat them with respect and explain the correct way of doing things, in private, rather than putting them in an embarrassing situation in front of others.

* If someone makes a mistake in a public, such as forgetting something important, don't laugh or point them out to others. Offer help and show caring.

Summary

The prohibition against aggrandizing oneself at another's expense is reflected in many practical aspects of our daily lives. By avoiding gossip, showing respect to others, paying attention to signs of discomfort or hurt, respecting privacy, and being considerate of people's feelings, we can create a more respectful and supportive environment that enhances human dignity.