The Procrastinator's Dilemma: Why Wait When You Can... Wait More?

"Why do tomorrow what you can put off until the day after tomorrow?" muses the procrastinator. Yet, they will tell you they've tried so many methods to ditch this habit, only to find it's not easy. Let's explore a fresh perspective. Instead of battling procrastination, let's pause the critique for a moment. Listen to its rationale, the internal voice of the person. Our internal voice holds immense power. When we're focused on eliminating it, we can't truly hear or acknowledge it, and if we're not listening, it won't listen to us either. You'll hear different voices:

The Enthusiast – explains that the task is so boring that they can't find the energy to complete it.

The Perfectionist – insists things need to be done thoroughly and perfectly, which requires finding the right time.

The Confident One – might feel unsure of successfully completing the task or, on the flip side, so confident that the task can easily be done last minute.

The Present-Minded – values the present most and argues it's not worth sacrificing it for the future.

The Freedom Lover – feels all options should be open, leading to indecision about what to focus on now.

What's Their Common Ground?

People operate with two forces: a "Circular Force" that listens to their internal world and ignores the external, making them do what they "want"; and a "Square Force" that listens to the external world and ignores the internal, ensuring they do what they "need." The "want" is about immediate desires without considering the long term. The "need" is about future achievements.

Despite being opposing forces, the circular and square forces complement each other, like the propulsion and brake systems in a vehicle. Putting more weight on the Circular Force means paying less attention to external reality and making decisions that aren't advisable from an external perspective—for instance, washing dishes later instead of right after a meal, even if it makes the job harder.

When under pressure to use the Square Force, the Circular Force may feel threatened and rebel. It won't let itself be erased; it'll find a way to "trip you up," ensuring tasks are perpetually postponed. This phenomenon is more pronounced in those with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), who typically have a strong Circular Force. Recent Israeli research shows the more ADHD symptoms someone has, the more likely they are to procrastinate, preferring immediate over future rewards.

So, What's the Solution?

The struggle with procrastination lies in attempting to skip the emotional stage and jump straight into action.

Embrace the Circle – It's a "reverse psychology" approach. By appreciating the beautiful aspects of the Circular Force, respecting and loving it, the circle becomes willing to listen to the square. Don't be too hard on yourself. Your circular nature provides things you take pride in, like generosity, flow, forgiveness, creativity, humanity, self-identity, independence, freedom, uniqueness, humor, and more. Sure, there are side effects, but you love both the circle and the square.

Respect the Square – Of course, we'd love everything to be just as we want, but the reality-square has demands because "it has to." Yet, the square also supports us, allowing us to bring our desires to fruition. As someone once said, "I hate limited reality, but it's the only place where you can get chicken wings to eat."

Focus – Zero in on a limited range of goals. Identify where you're most prone to procrastinate, which causes the most harm, and stay a procrastinator "by design" in all other areas.

Accept the Emotion – Notice the central emotion causing your procrastination. Before rushing to practical solutions, pause and accept the emotion. For example, if tasks seem boring over and over again, you may be sensitive to boredom. When you feel it, don't run away—face it. It sends a calming message: I can handle this emotion. Remind yourself you're not against this feeling. On the contrary, boredom is a crucial emotion for human function. It reminds you how important and fulfilling life can be. Due to its significance, it is a powerful emotion. When you accept it, it’s easier to address. For instance, try to find an interesting challenge in the task, like succeeding despite the boredom.

Categorize the Task – In the moment, ask yourself if the task falls into the "want" or "need" category? Should you use the circular or square force? Tackling a task at the last minute means relying on the Circular Force, which activates under pressure or when the task has immediate benefits. If you're a procrastinator, you may have an internal belief that you can't operate through the Square Force. Challenge yourself: Do you really only do what you feel like in life? What helps you use your Square Force in different areas? Recall your successes and bolster your confidence in using the square.

Conscious Evaluation – When faced with a task, your brain assigns it "a certain value," and you act accordingly. For example, it may label a task as too hard ("I can't do it") or too easy ("It's a breeze; I'll do it later") – in both cases, leading to avoidance. Identify the value you're assigning. For example, if you face "perfectionism procrastination," you likely assign low value to anything imperfect. Try to assign a different value. For instance, achieving something in reality, even imperfectly, is true perfection. You can internalize this thought using various techniques: celebrating small achievements from setting small goals, focusing on progress rather than perfection, and noting what you completed rather than what remains.

Identify Negative Emotions – Sometimes, tasks evoke unpleasant feelings, and naturally, people shy away. For example, educational tasks may bring up unpleasant school memories. Instead of anger at yourself, understand your instinct. It's common knowledge—even codified in Jewish law—that "Negative outcomes should be delayed". If Tisha B'Av falls on Shabbat, it's postponed to Sunday, not advanced to Friday. Self-awareness allows calm and provides a solution. For example, if procrastination stems from fear of failure, reconsider and view failure as part of success ("The righteous fall seven times and rise") and as a growth opportunity. Calmness allows you to view fear with humor, as someone once jested: I learn so much from my mistakes, I'm considering making more...

Adapt Work Methods to Your Nature – Set real expectations, break tasks into smaller portions, and lay out a timeline. Well, if you've tried this and it hasn't worked, it may be because you're accustomed to using your Circular Force—maybe you love freedom and prefer your tasks open, flexible, and not overly organized. Perhaps the square feels stifling. No sense fighting who you are; try one of these options:

The Hive Method – Suitable for people who feel "tightness" helps gather them. The idea is to place the task into time slots. Don't ask "what needs doing" but "what needs doing during this time slot." Divide your time into small parts and allocate small tasks within them. Once the time is up, the task is complete. During task time, maintain focus and remove distractions. Use a time-focus timer, website blockers, etc.

The Box Method – Ideal for those needing more space. Within an ocean of freedom, create "boxes" of specific times designated for well-defined tasks. Be square within the boxes; stick to your plan and be flexible at all other times.

The 2-Minute Rule – Best for small and "annoying" tasks. Make a principal decision that tasks taking less than 2 minutes to perform will be addressed immediately.

In Summary: Use the Q.A.R.T. questions and ask yourself: What is the goal? Is it clear and defined? Why does it matter to you? What emotions surface? And How do you plan to achieve it? What's your action plan?

Chaim Dayan is a clinical social worker and doctoral student, Chairman of the Institute for Attention.