Navigating Prayer: Tips for Those with ADHD

Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) affects many aspects of life, including religious practices like prayer. This article explores the issue and provides practical coping strategies for both adults and children.

How Does ADHD Affect Prayer?

Effective prayer requires one to be organized, adhere to scheduled times, find peace of mind, concentrate, follow the leader, and remain seated for an extended period. This routine can be tedious, especially when repeating the same words, and expressing oneself through the traditional texts may not feel personal. For individuals with ADHD, these hurdles are magnified.

Why Isn't Medication Enough?

Dealing with ADHD involves both physical and emotional strategies. While medication addresses physical symptoms as per medical advice, this article focuses on emotional approaches, particularly turning the challenge into part of the solution through positive engagement with prayer.

The Emotional Dimension

Prayer comprises a structured external aspect (fixed texts, times, and places) and an internal aspect (faith, spirituality, and communal sense). Only engaging in structure can feel burdensome, while focusing solely on spirituality can lack stability. Balancing these aspects is "work," requiring different efforts depending on one's tendencies. People with ADHD often gravitate towards spiritual freedom ("the circle") over structure ("the square"). They follow their emotional instincts more readily than fulfilling obligations. Striking a balance becomes challenging, swinging between performing tasks technically or connecting wholeheartedly only when inspired.

What Can Be Done?

Connecting Through Emotion – Sometimes, the main challenge lies in the structured aspect of prayer. By understanding this specific difficulty, a person can reconnect emotionally. Starting from relatable elements naturally and building from there can be beneficial. Deepening one's understanding of prayer, adding personal words, and integrating music can enhance connections. Initial focus on the emotional connection might be needed before instilling routine. Teach children the joy of direct connection with the divine, understanding the structured prayer as an effective tool.

Connecting Through Structure – Aligning emotions with structure can start with external actions to ignite inner feelings. Creating enthusiastic movements, like brisk actions, can help convey significance. ADHD often involves difficulties in transitions, hindering someone prepared to pray from shifting focus from other tasks. External actions can foster habitual initiation, gradually without needing internal motivation.

Showing Empathy – Approach discussions gently, not from a place of worry. Parents should calm their concerns, seeing the child beyond temporary behavior, understanding they don't have a negative spiritual outlook. Emphasize prayer as a gift, highlighting its benefits. Foster conversations about difficulties and support children in expressing their challenges, normalizing the effort required in prayer.

Progress Steadily – The urge to achieve quickly should be tempered with patience. Acknowledge that building concentration and commitment to prayer takes gradual practice. Set realistic goals, possibly starting with brief focused segments. Adjust times to the child's capacity, considering smaller portions or private prayer if needed.

Recognizing Unique Traits – Embrace individual traits rather than imposing constraints. Some might benefit from integrating physical movement into prayer. Encouraging active participation can enhance engagement, perhaps allowing them to lead parts of prayer services.

The "circle" and "square" within a person can either repel or attract each other like magnetic poles. Understanding this dynamic and working towards a harmonious balance can amplify one's ability to combine both structure and emotion in prayer.

Edited by Avi Pollack.

Chaim Dayan is a clinical social worker, PhD candidate, and chairman of the "Attention Institute."