Navigating the Maze: A Parent's Guide to Special Needs Bureaucracy

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And so, Michali and I arrived at the Child Development Center, ready to start the evaluation process.

Just kidding, did you really think it was going to be that easy?

Welcome to a new world I've discovered: the world of bureaucracy.

Anyone dealing with a child facing some difficulties knows this world well. There are two major issues in this bureaucratic world: the forms, and the waiting.

The First Headache: The Forms

For every visit to the Child Development Center, be it for an evaluation, treatment, interview, or visit of any kind – forms must be filled out. There are actually two sets of forms. The first set is for the parents. The child’s name, age, school information. Who initiated the contact. What do the parents think the child needs (Did I come to you so you could tell me what she needs... oh well).

Parent details, including years of education and field of work (does it really matter?!), and for siblings, including health status, and any past experiences with the Child Development Center.

Then there’s developmental history: How was the pregnancy, what was the birth weight? When did Michali stand, walk, eat, talk, and ditch the diaper. She's 6 now, who remembers? Okay, I actually do remember. At least partially.

Then, two pages where you need to mark if certain behaviors exist, always? Sometimes? Never? Then another two pages with the same activity, just with attention and concentration topics.

Then there are more official forms - waivers of confidentiality, consent for remote treatment... I'm already tired of signing. And writing Michali's ID number. And mine. And both our phone numbers.

The second set of forms is for the teacher. Which means now you need to put the forms in an envelope, contact the teacher – or write her a note – to inform her of the request to fill out the forms. Trust Michali to remember to give the forms to the teacher, and hope that the teacher remembers to fill them out. And return them.

The Second Headache: The Waiting

I'm a nice person, usually. I don't like bothering people, pestering them, or driving them mad. Unfortunately, dealing with Michali has taught me over time to be a bit of a nag. But at this stage, I was still innocent, calm, and patient. The forms reached the teacher, I knew that, and now we wait for her to return them.

Day. And another day. And another day.

How long does it take to fill out three pages?

And another day. And another day.

When I decided it was too much, I called the teacher, and felt terribly awkward. Being such a nag. "Oh, glad you reminded me. Is it urgent? Okay, all right. But not today, I’m heading out. So tomorrow I’ll fill it out, and the day after I’ll bring it to class and give it to her." Thank you. Thank God it was at least like that, and I didn’t have to remind her again.

Finally, all the forms were ready. Time to send them to the Child Development Center.

I took pictures of the documents and emailed them to the center. Now all that’s left is... yes, you guessed it, wait for a response.

Actually, not yet. Because the next morning I got a call from the center. "Hello, Mrs. Eisenberg? You sent us an email, but you sent image files. We can't accept that. Please send a PDF."

I took a deep breath. The frustration is starting to build up. I converted the files to PDFs. Sent them. Waited another day.

"Hello, Mrs. Eisenberg? You sent us an email, but..."

"But what?! I already converted to PDF as you requested!"

"Right, but it’s not clear enough" (look at the first images, they’re really clear, I promise).

"So what am I supposed to do?"

"Send it by fax."

God Almighty, who has a fax machine these days? "I don’t have a fax!!!"

"Then go to the nearest clinic, and ask them to fax it for you."

I can’t go out today. Only tomorrow. Another day wasted.

The next day I did it. Sent it. I called the center again, to make sure they received the forms (see, I’ve already learned to be a nag). They confirmed, thank God. "We're forwarding the forms to the doctor, and he will decide exactly what you need."

And now? Well, you’ve really guessed it by now. Waiting.

More than a week went by – including one reminder where they nicely asked me to wait patiently – until they got back to me. "Mrs. Eisenberg? The doctor here saw the forms and referred you for an occupational therapy evaluation. Should we schedule an appointment?" Yes!!! Please schedule it!!! I can't wait any longer! We made an appointment. For the next week.

And then another sentence: "The doctor also mentioned that you might want to pursue an attention and concentration evaluation."

Do you have attention and concentration issues at home too? Feel free to share your thoughts.