She’s Fiery, Chatty, and Brilliant: Understanding ADHD with My Daughter

This is a story about a girl with no focus. Well, with ADHD. That is, she has ADHD, but everyone who sees her asks me – what’s the connection?!

Confused? I am too.

So let's start from the beginning.

I’m Chaya, a mom to three kids. The youngest is Michali, an amazing and unique child with ADHD, and she’s the star of this story.

But what exactly is ADHD?

Some quick professional words: ADHD is a common abbreviation for Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. Now that sounds a bit more familiar. So, a brief explanation: ADHD is a neurodevelopmental disorder. Its main symptoms are difficulty maintaining attention, hyperactivity - or as most people know it, hyperactivity, and impulsivity. It's estimated that ADHD affects about 7-10% of the population.

What many parents don't know is that ADHD appears differently in every child. For example, boys often display hyperactivity, restlessness, and relentless energy. Girls tend more towards being dreamy, "spacey", quiet, and introverted. Of course, there are cases that break the mold, and ultimately, each child has their own unique experience of ADHD.

Why does this disorder deserve a personal column? Isn’t a professional article enough? Besides, what’s the issue? Just give them Ritalin and be done with it.

Well, it’s not that simple. What many people don’t understand is that ADHD affects every area of life. It can be disruptive not only in school or work but also in daily routine, interpersonal relationships, and even a person’s ability to take care of themselves. And medications like Ritalin, if they even work, help with only a very specific part of this picture. Everything else, and there is a lot, must be dealt with independently.

Alright, that’s enough of an introduction. Actually, one more small thing: To write this article, I'm going back two years to when it all started. But the process continues, it’s still happening, we are still in it. Because that’s how it is: a condition that stays with you.

"Four, Nearly Fifteen"

My Michali was born perfect. Amazing. Everyone in the maternity ward knew her. Well, that’s because she was born huge. Almost 11 pounds, and with such a full head of curly hair that needed to be brushed after every bath.

As she grew a little older, she became the most beautiful girl in the neighborhood. With mischievous ginger curls and deep blue eyes you could get lost in. Once, while I sat with her in the park, two women stopped by, a daughter pushing her mother in a wheelchair. They stopped just to tell us, "You’ve made our day. What a beautiful child!"

And the beauty, such a wonderful gift from above. This child received countless gifts. From the age of two, she talked and chattered non-stop. She was the leader of all the kids at daycare. At age 4, her kindergarten teacher told me, "She’s four, almost fifteen." She drew beautifully, loved puzzles, and was interested in every subject under the sun. When a relative once mentioned she had to add water to her car’s engine, little Michali investigated exactly why water was needed, why it was missing, what needed checking, and how exactly you add it. She even stood by to watch the entire fascinating process unfold.

So where does ADHD come in now?!

Well, ADHD doesn’t only come with underperforming kids. It doesn’t just appear in those where you notice something’s amiss from the start. It can appear even in the most unique and amazing kids, even the most ordinary ones.

And if at four I had no doubt she was the most perfect child in the world and there was no chance she’d struggle with anything because challenges just glanced off her –

By age five, I started to think differently.

Do you have ADHD experiences at home too? Feel free to share.