Parenting with Purpose: Supporting Children with ADHD

When we raise or teach a child with ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder), it can sometimes feel overwhelming. But through a Jewish lens, we can begin to see this challenge as something meaningful and a part of our divine mission in this world.

Faith as a Foundation

One of the most powerful tools for handling any life challenge is emunah, faith in Hashem. Everything in this world is guided by the Creator, including where we were born, who our children are, and what situations we face. That means if a parent or teacher has a child with ADHD in their life, there’s a reason for it. Hashem placed that child near you for a purpose. You are meant to play a part in this child’s journey physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

It’s important to reflect honestly: What are the friction points? What behaviors or needs are causing stress? Once those areas are identified, we can gently ask: “How can I help this child in a way that feels easier for both of us?”

Start with something simple. Even one small action, if done with love and intention, can be a huge step forward not only for the child, but for your own spiritual growth.

Once that first step feels natural, you can move on to more complex areas with greater patience and clarity.

Adapting Expectations

Children with ADHD often experience the world differently. They may process information in their own way, have difficulty staying focused, or struggle with organization. That means they also have different strengths and different missions in this world. As a result, our expectations as parents and teachers should shift.

When we accept their unique wiring and meet them where they are, we become more patient. We reduce pressure, increase compassion, and create a more peaceful and encouraging environment, both at home and in the classroom. This doesn’t mean lowering standards, but rather guiding with gentleness and building step by step.

Children who are understood and supported will grow stronger in their sense of self. Their self-esteem improves, and they feel empowered to go beyond what they thought they could do.

Seeing the Child's Soul

Our sages teach: “Everything is in the hands of Heaven, except for yirat Shamayim (awe of Heaven).” In other words, while we make choices, much of what happens in this world is guided by Hashem, who moves everything according to a divine plan.

So perhaps the child truly wants to succeed, to help, to do good but they find themselves pulled in different directions, feeling stuck or misunderstood. This struggle may not be something they chose. If we keep that in mind, how can we blame them?

Instead of frustration, we can respond with empathy. Instead of criticism, we can offer tools, consistency, and belief in their inner strength.

When we choose to see a child’s soul and potential, even through the challenges of ADHD, we become Hashem’s partners in their growth. That’s not only a parenting success, it’s a spiritual one.

This article is adapted from the book “ADHD: It’s Possible to Cope” by Avraham Klaberman.