Strengthening Bonds: How Parents and Teachers Can Help ADHD Children Thrive

When a child is dealing with ADHD, the relationship between their parents, teachers, and themselves becomes even more important. These bonds can be the difference between frustration and growth, between feeling misunderstood and feeling truly seen.

To support children with ADHD in a real and lasting way, we need three things:

1. Knowledge – Understanding what ADHD is and how it affects children.

2. Tools – Practical strategies to help them succeed.

3. Application – The ability and willingness to use those tools with love and consistency.

We must learn about the challenges these children face, recognize the solutions that exist, and also understand the gifts that often come with ADHD like creativity, energy, and deep sensitivity.

Warm Connections

Children naturally want to succeed. They want to make their parents and teachers proud. Deep down, they long for that loving smile or nod of approval. This is even more true for children with ADHD, who may be used to hearing mostly criticism.

These warm moments can take two simple but powerful forms:

A – Heartfelt Smiles: Smiling at a child with warmth, without needing a reason, helps them feel accepted.
B – Reinforcement Through Words: Words of appreciation don’t just say “good job,” but share your feelings about what they did.

Instead of just saying, “You did that nicely,” try something deeper like, “I’m proud of how you took responsibility” or “It makes me so happy to see you trying.”

There are two kinds of praise:
Descriptive Praise highlights the action. “You set the table just the way we asked.” This is very helpful for children with ADHD, who often respond better to specific, concrete language.
Evaluative Praise is more general: “I’m proud of you.” While beautiful, it can feel vague or hard to believe for a child who has experienced a lot of correction or criticism in the past.

Giving warm feedback, often and sincerely, creates a foundation of love. This builds trust and gives children the confidence to face their daily challenges.

Pleasant Communication

Children with ADHD often face limits that can lead to conflict. That’s why it’s so important for parents to handle these struggles in a calm and kind way, even when it’s hard. When the tone is gentle and the atmosphere is positive, even the tough moments become easier to face together.

When we speak calmly, even when things are difficult, children learn to trust us. And when they trust us, they are more open to guidance. Good communication, built on support, not just correction, helps our children handle future challenges better.

We want to avoid situations where the only times we talk to our children are during a crisis. Let’s talk to them when things are going well, too.

The Pain of Feeling Rejected

It’s important to understand that children with ADHD, especially those who are hyperactive, often get scolded from a young age. Their actions may be impulsive and energetic, not dangerous, but misunderstood. And over time, those constant corrections can create a sense of rejection.

They may feel like no one understands them. That they’re always in trouble. That they don’t belong.

To prevent this deep pain, we must give them a steady stream of love and encouragement. Let them hear it. Let them feel it.

This kind of support is needed for every child, but especially for children with ADHD. And for those who are very hyperactive, it’s absolutely essential.

They need to know: You belong. You are wanted. You are loved. You are not alone.

When we speak and act from this place, we help them not only manage their challenges, but also recognize their own worth as precious souls created by Hashem—with a unique purpose in this world.