Speak Kindly to Yourself and Watch Your Life Change

What if the way we speak, especially to ourselves, could completely shift our lives? It can. The words we use hold deep power, especially when we face challenges like ADHD or emotional struggles. When we switch from a negative mindset to one of growth and hope, everything begins to change.

Let’s look at some simple but powerful examples of how to reframe our thoughts. Instead of calling it a problem, call it a challenge. Instead of saying “I can’t,” ask, “What can I do?” These small changes open up new possibilities.

Switch Negative to Positive

Attention and focus become rhythm and movement.
Feeling unstable becomes loving variety and change.
Running late becomes arriving with style.
"I'm so stressed!" turns into "I'm adapting to new challenges."
"I keep failing" becomes "I've found many ways that don't work."
"I have no energy" becomes "My energy is recharging."
"No one will hire me" becomes "How can I reveal the gem inside me?"
"Terrible" becomes "An interesting challenge."
"Why is this happening to me?" becomes "What can I learn from this?"
"This is unbearable" becomes "This will pass with time."
"This is so frustrating" becomes "Let me think this through."
"I'm unlucky" becomes "My blessing is on the way."
"Problem" becomes "Challenge."
"Helpless" becomes "Searching for a solution."
"Missed opportunity" becomes "Guided by Hashem’s plan."
"Impossible" becomes "I’m looking for new ways."
"I can't" becomes "What can I do?"
"I'm done" becomes "I'm still discovering my path."
"Depression" becomes "A pause before transformation."
"Disappointment" becomes "Time to realign my expectations."
"Failure" becomes "A chance to gain wisdom."
"Exhausted" becomes "Time to rest and rebuild."
"Fear and anxiety" becomes "I feel uneasy, but I can work with it."
"I hate it" becomes "This isn't my preference."
"Overwhelmed" becomes "I need to rebalance."
"Sad and confused" becomes "I'm reflecting and growing."
"Dire situation" becomes "A different kind of moment."
"Lonely" becomes "A time to connect with myself and others."
"Anger" becomes "Energy needing direction."
"Lost" becomes "Searching for my way."
"I'm stressed" becomes "I’m full of energy and potential."
"Confused" becomes "Charged with creative energy."
"Negative" becomes "Not positive... yet."
"Slow" becomes "Taking it step by step."
"Weak" becomes "Gathering strength."

When we speak to ourselves like this, with compassion, hope, and purpose then we’re not just changing our vocabulary. We’re changing our future.

Focus on What You Want

Our Sages teach that words are powerful. In the Torah, speech isn’t just a tool, it’s creative force. Hashem spoke the world into being. That’s how powerful speech is.

Negative thoughts are like weeds. If we let them grow wild, they can take over everything. But if we gently pull them out and plant better ones, hope, trust, possibility, we start to see blessing and growth.

Sometimes it’s hard to know what we want. Here’s a simple exercise:

Sit quietly. Take a pen and paper. Write down everything you don’t want in your life. Then go back and transform each one into something positive.

For example:

I don’t want to feel confused → I want clarity.
I don’t want to feel weak → I want to feel strong.
I don’t want to be sick → I want to be healthy.
I don’t want to suffer → I want to be joyful and fulfilled.
I don’t want to feel ignored → I want to feel seen and valued.

This little shift naming what we want instead of what we fear can light a spark in our souls.

Be careful what you feed your dreams. Feed them with fear and they’ll fade. But nourish them with hope and they’ll blossom.

As the quote goes, “Build your dreams or someone else will hire you to build theirs.” And: “To fulfill your dreams, the first step is to wake up.”

Start by speaking kindly. Even just to yourself. It’s the beginning of teshuvah, returning to your true self, and returning to Hashem.