The Power of Positive Words for Our Children

A group of frogs was hopping through the forest when suddenly two of them fell into a deep pit. The rest of the frogs gathered around the edge, peered down, and cried out, “You’ll never make it! It’s too deep! Just give up!”

But the two frogs down below weren’t ready to quit. They began jumping with all their strength, trying to escape. The frogs above kept yelling, “Stop trying! You're wasting your energy! Accept it, you’re not getting out!”

Eventually, one of the frogs listened to the discouragement. Tired and heartbroken, he gave up and lay down at the bottom of the pit.

But the other frog kept jumping with all his might. No matter what the others shouted, he didn’t stop. Then, with one final push, he leapt high enough to escape the pit.

Everyone was stunned. “How did you do that?” they asked. “The pit was so deep!”

The little frog used sign language to explain, he was deaf. He hadn’t heard a single word of discouragement. Instead, he thought they were cheering him on.

This story reminds us just how powerful our words can be especially when it comes to children with ADHD or attention challenges. A child who is constantly hearing criticism or frustration from others begins to internalize that message.

Unfortunately, teachers are sometimes on the receiving end of parents’ helplessness and frustration. In their pain, parents might say things like, “The teacher just wants quiet, so they give my child Ritalin,” or “The teacher can’t handle my child,” or even “ADHD is just the school system’s failure.”

These comments, while often said out of concern or despair, can create a rift between teacher and child, between parents and the school. Educators, too, may feel misunderstood or criticized, which can make it even harder for them to help the students who need their support most.

But we must always remember what truly matters is the child. Their growth, their emotional health, and their confidence must come first. A teacher holds tremendous power to help a child flourish or unintentionally cause harm. A teacher’s awareness of their own reactions, and their ability to connect honestly and compassionately with the student and the parents, is what determines their true success.

It’s not just about managing the classroom. It’s about forming a partnership, teacher and parent working together with the same goal: to help the child grow.

One of the greatest tools we have is encouragement. And yet, for many of us, this wasn’t something we grew up with in abundance. We didn’t always receive enough support or praise, and so we might not know how deeply our words affect the children around us.

Discouragement, sadly, is everywhere:
“You're too young to understand.”
“Be careful, you might mess it up.”
“You'll get it someday.”

At first, young children don’t believe these negative messages. But after hearing them again and again, they begin to absorb them and doubt their own abilities.

Think of a child’s test. The teacher circles all the mistakes in red ink. What does that tell the child who tried so hard? “You failed.”

And what happens as this child grows up? They may carry a sense of failure or fear of trying new things, rooted in the words and reactions of the adults around them.

So what’s the alternative? Encouragement.

What does that really mean? Avraham Even-Shoshan, a respected Hebrew scholar, defined encouragement as “strengthening a person’s spirit to achieve something.” In other words, it’s not just saying nice things. True encouragement helps someone actually believe in themselves and take action.

Encouragement doesn’t make challenges disappear. It’s not a trick to make a child behave or perform better. But it does build the child’s self-confidence.

It’s a powerful tool for both parents and teachers to help children stand tall. Encouragement is like spiritual food, it nourishes the soul. And just like food, it needs to be offered daily.

A child raised in an atmosphere of encouragement grows up feeling that the world is a safe place and that they belong simply by being who they are. These children want to contribute. They feel connected to their family, their people, and their community. They have the courage to try even when it’s hard. They learn that it’s okay to make mistakes, and most importantly, they believe in themselves.

Encouragement is essential for a child’s emotional and spiritual growth just as much as healthy food is needed for the body. As parents and teachers, every interaction is an opportunity to give this nourishment. When we do, we help children develop their inner motivation and become the people they are meant to be.

From the book “Attention and Concentration” by Gilad Shamaa and Yechiel Elias