Attention and Focus: Warning Signs Parents Shouldn't Ignore

Thousands of students fill school benches. Not everyone attends eagerly, nor do they always return with stories of success. Many students experience frustration at school and find it hard to manage the numerous assignments. The primary task facing the average student is listening. Listening is no easy feat, even adults struggle with it. Does your child have difficulty listening? They might need help, and suitable treatment could prevent them from unnecessary suffering.

"Why aren’t you listening?" Hagit repeatedly expressed her annoyance at Shira. This lively girl constantly jumps from one topic to another. Girls her age are already helping with shopping and tidying the house. She saw her sister-in-law's twins, the same age as Shira, take charge. They organized the house perfectly, set the table without needing constant reminders of what they were supposed to do. Only Shira acts spoiled, doing nothing unless she's told ten times.

Hagit tried again to tell Shira to tidy up her room. "Shira, I'm heading to the grocery store. When I return, I want to see your room perfectly tidy." Shira nodded vigorously, replying, "I’ll finish this chapter first."

Hagit sighed to herself. She knew exactly what would happen with that chapter. It would lead to the next, and then the one after that, and Shira would forget what she promised. "Shira, stop! Don't finish the chapter now. Tidy up first, and then you can continue reading."

"Ugh!!!" Shira slammed the book down in frustration and began organizing. The first thing on her cluttered desk was the letter from Tzvia. Oh, she forgot to reply to it. She received the letter two days ago, and Tzvia is probably waiting for a response. She started a colorful letter and began decorating it, thinking of what to write. Her mind went from one idea to shaping hearts and circles, squares, and lines.

The letter captivated her with its stories, impressions, drawings, and jokes. Shira’s mother returned from the grocery store to find a daughter absorbed in a magical realm. The mess on Shira’s desk remained, perhaps even worsened by the colorful pens scattered about. And now, Shira was writing with complete concentration.

"Shira???"

"Oh, yeah, um... I forgot."

Does Shira have memory problems? Why is she always forgetting? Why does she start tasks and then suddenly stop midway? Shira is already in second grade. She keeps forgetting things at school too: notebooks, homework, sometimes even her lunch and schedule.

Why does this bright young girl forget? In kindergarten, Shira seemed talented, remembering and retelling stories confidently. What happened? She was so capable; why does she keep forgetting?

Shira's pencil case has already lost many items, abandoned in various places. Her backpack is filled with unnecessary objects, cluttering and weighing it down, yet Shira doesn't bother to organize it. It’s like she doesn’t care. To her, the backpack is her mom’s burden.

Shira is a big girl now, and the backpack should be her responsibility, just like her peers her age. They organize their backpacks carefully, managing their schoolwork and supplies. Hagit's intuition signals that Shira isn’t ready. She's not yet capable of managing her belongings alone, so Hagit feels the need to intervene and assist. Occasionally, she checks Shira's backpack, helps organize it, and replaces lost items. Maybe this makes Shira careless with her possessions? Perhaps. But for now, Shira doesn’t seem able to take responsibility on her own. Why? If she's smart and capable, why is she acting so neglectfully?

Like many other children, Shira behaves in a manner typical of those with attention challenges. She’s full of motivation to complete tasks and has a pleasant disposition. She doesn't wish to upset or disappoint adults. Her issues occur despite her intentions, and she can’t concentrate on complex daily tasks. Hagit consulted with the teacher, who suggested an attention and focus evaluation. "At school, higher levels of attention and focus are required. Many issues that didn’t exist in kindergarten appear in the school setting. It’s possible Shira suffers from an attention disorder affecting her behavior. Forgetting items and being easily distracted from performing tasks are common signs. You should look into it."

Shira's parents were prompted to investigate further, even though her father thought it was an overreaction, making a fuss over everything. Nevertheless, he agreed to cooperate. What’s the harm in checking it out?

The evaluation confirmed the teacher's suspicion. Indeed, Shira’s behavior indicated difficulties, showing some typical symptoms.

Signs to Look For

How do you identify attention and focus disorders? You can notice typical signs even at home. Here are a few indicators to determine if your child may need an evaluation.

1. Moishy went to the store to buy bread for the first time alone. He was excited about the task, trusted with real money! He held the ten-shekel coin tightly, cheerfully skipping to the nearest neighborhood store. His mother waited at home, hoping he would return happy and accomplished. After fifteen minutes, Moishy returned sobbing in embarrassment. What happened? After a long while of trying to calm him, Moishy explained, "I lost the money." If it was the first time, his mother wouldn’t make much of it, but it had happened before, repeatedly, and it seemed a bit too frequent.

The issue - Lost belongings: The child frequently loses things, even important ones.

2. "Are you listening or not???" Avi found himself scolding Mordechai. "Am I talking to the walls?" he heard his own exasperated shout. Then he thought, maybe Mordechai really isn’t hearing? They went for a hearing test, which showed Mordechai could hear fine. Yet, it always felt like Mordechai wasn’t paying attention. "Perhaps he hears but doesn’t listen, lost in his daydreams and thoughts, unaware of what's being said to him."

The issue – Lack of attention: He doesn’t listen when spoken to. It's not a behavioral issue due to unwillingness to comply but an uncontrollable lack of concentration.

3. Tzipi struggles with attention and focus issues. When asked to complete a task, she readily agrees but never follows through. She always forgets, full of excuses. Tzipi doesn’t mean to disregard instructions, but executing them is crucial. If a child can’t comply with directions suited to their age and capability, it's essential to explore why. Children generally aim to please the adults around them, eager to meet expectations and fulfill directives. When appropriate instructions go unmet, discovering the cause is vital. What breaks their train of thought and halts them mid-task? To understand, try dividing complex tasks into smaller parts. For example, instead of saying "Clean the kitchen," try "Throw the disposable plates in the trash." Then, "Very good. Now gather the cutlery and put it in the sink." Followed by, "Great. Now soak the cutlery," and so on.

4. Lazy – The word ‘lazy’ once labeled anyone struggling or failing. How unjust and hurtful. Is it fair to blame inability on laziness? Motivated students with real effort might lack ability. Many students earnestly wish to succeed but can't seem to. Often, laziness covers difficulties and hindrances. Nowadays, understanding towards students unable to achieve is more common, and it's clear they aren't simply lazy but are dealing with challenges. Value their effort and qualities even if academic achievements don’t reflect it. It’s not the results but the effort that matters. A child showing reluctance doesn’t necessarily lack ambition. Past negative experiences might sour their confidence, deterring them from trying again. Recognizing the issue can encourage the child to believe in themselves and try anew. If it seems a child is losing self-confidence and fears trying, don't fall for it. Believe the issue isn't laziness, as it often indicates internal frustration.

A child growing in this environment might struggle to help themselves, continuing a pattern of failure. Identifying the problem helps a child focus their skills and motivation to reach desired achievements.

5. "Nati, the forgetful," everyone called him, as he forgot everything: his glasses, coat, pencil case, money, shopping list – everything. His family loved him, unaware of how hurtful the nickname was. Even when he remembered something, they laughed, saying he "forgot to forget." Everyone called him "Nati the forgetful," thinking it a great joke. Later, it was clear his forgetfulness stemmed from attention and focus issues. Nati was already hurt and lacked self-confidence. What a shame! If they'd acknowledged the real problem, Nati could have sought help and avoided the negative stigma. But since that didn't happen, Nati remained self-conscious, and it’s doubtful he’ll ever rebuild his self-image.

6. Messy Drawer – Noa's drawer was the messiest at home, prompting her parents to wonder about a neurological issue. A neurologist dismissed the idea, attributing it to a need for discipline in tidiness. Although messiness can signal problems, it's not always indicative of a disorder. Noa's parents worked on her tidiness habits, and surprisingly, her study habits improved significantly too. The orderliness of her belongings reflected positively on her performance as a student, with her grades noticeably improving.

Professional Evaluation

If you notice several symptoms in your child described above, seek an evaluation. Don’t neglect the issue, as unattended problems can develop into broader complications. Attention and focus disorders usually lead to side effects, such as lowered self-esteem, reduced self-confidence, poor learning habits, and inefficient thinking patterns. Identifying the struggle early can greatly assist your child, preventing unnecessary difficulties. Nowadays, professional evaluations are accessible with health insurance support, even offering additional opinions. Investigate efficient, revealing evaluations to gain a comprehensive understanding of your child's abilities. Assess their learning capabilities, aware of their weaknesses and strengths, aiding them on their path.

Engage with the Teacher

As you inform doctors about medical matters, don’t hide any learning-related issues from the teacher. The teacher sees your child’s challenges firsthand, and withholding information only limits their ability to help. Here's great advice some parents overlook: involve the classroom teacher. Teacher awareness can greatly enhance the situation, sparing a child embarrassment and aiding social interactions in the educational environment. Teachers can introduce material beforehand, ease task completion, and most importantly, respect the student's feelings, encouraging them and appreciating their efforts.

A student failing academically and not reaching expectations grapples with an overwhelming sense of failure. Invest in encouraging the child and nurturing their self-image. Identify areas where they can succeed, gaining recognition and satisfaction. A child needs success experiences to grow positively and healthily. Achieving something provides them with the strength to continue striving and progressing in any field.

Caution, Not Every Child Has It

Not all children suffer from attention and focus issues. Reading an article like this might suggest every child is afflicted. After all, many show traces of laziness or face challenges with obedience. Many enjoy rest and idleness, possessing even a touch of mischief. That’s exactly why seeking evaluation to receive a professional assessment is crucial. Is this within the norm, or does it deviate? Could there be a dopamine deficiency in the brain as attention issues suggest, or is it a behavioral symptom requiring training? Not every child has attention and focus disorders, definitely not all of yours. Should you suspect it? Don’t hastily conclude alone. Consult experts to determine the condition and ways to help your children.