Turning ADHD Into a Superpower: How Yvonne Landau Coaches Parents and Adults

Last week, when Yvonne Landau, a personal coach and workshop facilitator specializing in ADHD, walked into her workshop session for parents of children with ADHD, the attendees quickly informed her that "Chani won't be coming today." They explained that Chani's daughter had been in an accident a few days prior and was hospitalized in serious condition.

Yvonne, of course, offered her best wishes for a quick recovery and was about to start the session when, surprisingly, Chani herself walked into the room.

"I was told your daughter was in an accident," Yvonne remarked, surprised.

"Yes," Chani replied, "but the accident happened because she impulsively jumped into the street, which is a symptom of her ADHD. For me, attending your workshop and learning tools to cope with this disorder is a matter of life and death."

Yvonne's journey into personal coaching, particularly in the realm of ADHD, began with her own personal experiences: several of her children were diagnosed with ADHD.

"First and foremost, many parents whose children are diagnosed don't really understand what ADHD is, its implications, and its future ramifications. They receive a diagnosis, a prescription for Ritalin, and head home. No one gives them the tools to tackle the everyday challenges of raising such a child. Ritalin doesn't solve problems. It increases attention by boosting dopamine levels in the brain, but the individual still needs tools to meet goals, organize, manage time, stop procrastinating, control outbursts, and more. Ritalin is like taking aspirin for pneumonia: it eases the symptoms but definitely doesn't solve the problems. I collaborate with ADHD specialists who think like me and understand that alongside medication, we need to provide parents and their children with tools."

But Yvonne doesn't just coach parents of children with ADHD; she also works with adults living with the condition themselves. "The interesting thing is that many adults with ADHD come to me because of their children. The child is diagnosed, and suddenly the diagnosis sounds very familiar. 'Wow, that's exactly me.' When they were growing up, ADHD was much less known, and so children who suffered were often called 'lazy,' 'troublemakers,' or 'naughty.' But since ADHD is often hereditary, many times a child with ADHD has a parent with ADHD who recognizes their own challenges through the child's diagnosis."

What tools do parents of children with ADHD expect from you?

"The first thing parents want is more knowledge. Especially in the Orthodox community, where they have less access to the wealth of information available online, for example. But even in the general community, many parents don’t fully understand the nature of ADHD and its long-term consequences, the pros and cons of Ritalin, how to manage their child's treatment. Beyond that, they need practical tools: What do I do when the teacher keeps calling me? How do I create collaboration with the school? How do I help my child build self-confidence? How do I set boundaries? How do I teach a child with ADHD about time management, order, and organization? After all, ADHD affects many daily functions."

And what are adults looking to learn?

"Adults need tools just as much as children. Just today, a mother came to me and told me she was interested in the parents' workshop but said, 'I need you to help me!!! I live in despair and frustration all my life.' We all know the feeling of getting up on the wrong side of the bed and nothing goes right. For some adults with untreated ADHD, much of their life looks like that. They want to get up on time, get organized, manage to start and finish tasks, operate efficiently, but it doesn't happen. They are accompanied by a feeling of unfulfillment. They often have employment problems, relationship issues—both in partnerships and parenting. Of course, all of this also leads to problems with self-image."

And when it comes to relationship problems, sometimes it’s actually the spouse of the person with ADHD who seeks advice from Yvonne. "It's very important for the spouse to understand their partner with ADHD. They’re not doing it on purpose!! For example, they aren't listening because you’re boring, but because it's hard for them. They didn’t show up late to annoy you but because poor time management is part of their condition. They forgot to take care of things you asked not because you don't matter to them, but because they’re easily distracted by their ADHD... And in coaching, we find many practical solutions: expecting someone with ADHD to sit and have coffee with you without distractions for half an hour is unrealistic. But if you go for a walk with them, they’ll listen well, because physical activity helps them focus. So we also find solutions for organization and time management, and mostly, we learn to see the good points of the partner with ADHD."

What are the results when clients successfully implement the tools they learn in coaching?

"Not long ago, a special education teacher I know called me and said a student's teacher mentioned seeing a positive change and wanted to know what happened. So the special education teacher called the parents, and they said the mother had attended one of my workshops and learned powerful tools that simply work! The coaching tools are very practical, perfect for situations like these. Take, for example, the frequent parental run-ins with the educational staff. School is simply not the best place for a child with ADHD. So how do you create a situation where the child loves going to school, functions like any other child, and even experiences success there? You have to create a fruitful partnership with the school system and work with it properly. Teachers don't have the tools and they cry for help. So parents learn how to speak to teachers, understand them, and find efficient solutions.

"Adults who come to coaching specifically for ADHD also see immediate improvements in their daily lives. I've coached homemakers and professionals of all kinds, including businesspeople and doctors, who have started to operate efficiently following coaching—despite the difficulties their ADHD poses. Practical tools help them deal with issues such as time management, organization, financial management, balancing work and home, and relationship challenges. One client moved me deeply when, thanks to the coaching, she finally managed to write the book she had dreamed of composing for so long."

In conclusion, Yvonne wants to clarify: ADHD is not just a problem or difficulty; on the contrary, "ADHD is actually a gift! Those blessed with it and a dash of hyperactivity are full of energy, enthusiastic, and proactive. Those without hyperactivity are usually creative, sensitive, and sometimes artistic. The ability to diffuse attention has many advantages, but only if the person knows how to handle it efficiently. ADHD is like a race car with flat tires. You might say the car is useless because it can’t go anywhere, but on the other hand, its capabilities are far above average! The solution is to learn how to pump air back into the tires, and then it will outperform any regular car."