When Ido came to me for therapy, he was already completely overwhelmed. It all began during a routine exam as part of his degree studies. In the middle of the test, out of nowhere, he felt a wave of suffocation, a pounding heartbeat, and intense pressure that completely disrupted his focus. He thought he was going to faint- his mouth went dry, and he felt dizzy and unstable. He stood up, walked out, and never returned to the exam.
From that moment on, panic attacks started happening more frequently. His biggest fear became the uncertainty: when would the next attack hit, where would he be, and would he be able to handle it?
His life began to unravel. The anxiety stopped him from continuing his studies, from attending family events, and even from leaving the house. For a long time, Ido stayed home, which only deepened his frustration, helplessness, and sense of losing control over his life.
He felt completely alone in what he was going through- no one really knew or understood what was happening inside him.
What Is Anxiety, Really?
Anxiety is an emotional and psychological state characterized by fear, worry, and inner unrest, even in the absence of a clear or immediate threat. It’s marked by catastrophic thoughts and physical symptoms that directly affect day-to-day functioning.
Common symptoms during a panic attack include:
Rapid or pounding heartbeat
Sweating
Dizziness
Nausea
Dry mouth
Hot flashes
Shaking
Thoughts like “I’m going crazy” or “I’m going to die”
One of the main reasons people start avoiding everyday activities, like leaving the house, is the fear of not knowing when or where the next panic attack will happen. That fear alone can lead to even more avoidance.
The paradox is that avoiding situations out of fear of anxiety actually worsens functioning and increases the sense of helplessness when another attack comes.
The Most Effective Way to Heal: Acceptance, Not Resistance
(Based on the ACT approach – Acceptance and Commitment Therapy)
In the process with Ido, we discovered that the more we try to resist or avoid anxiety, the stronger and more paralyzing it becomes. We also realized that there’s no way to fully control life’s situations, emotions, or thoughts.
Once we truly internalized that acceptance and mindful attention to anxiety can actually reduce its intensity, a new sense of calm began to emerge.
Gradually, we practiced going outside again- step by step- while staying in tune with the anxiety and how it showed up in his body. We learned together that listening to the anxiety without judgment or fear creates meaningful change in how we respond to it.
Anxiety is a natural experience, affecting close to 20% of the population. Any attempt to “reset” or forcefully “calm down” anxiety often backfires and only deepens the sense of powerlessness.
The more we allow anxiety to move through our lives without resistance, and accept the discomfort it brings, the more likely it is to lose its grip over time.
Ariel Goldstein is a psychotherapist for teens and adults specializing in anxiety and OCD. He works with the Chashan Mental Wellness Department, which provides nationwide therapy services and Zoom consultations.
