How to Stay Calm in an Anxious World

Every day we hear about tragedies, disasters, and threats, and anxious thoughts begin to creep in. I've become overly worried about my children. Please don’t tell me to stop watching the news- I can’t disconnect from it. What can I do?

At the root of anxiety lies the desire to control the outcome. Somewhere along the way, the brain develops a faulty belief: “The only way I can feel safe and happy is if I know exactly what will happen in the future.” We chase the illusion of certainty, as if peace of mind depends on knowing what to expect.

However, true peace doesn’t result from certainty about the future, but from two deeper ideas from Pirkei Avot (Ethics of the Fathers) that offer a universal message:

1. “Everything is known in advance.”

2. “Free will is in your hands.”

“Everything is known in advance”- we live in a world filled with complexity, beauty, and unpredictability. There’s a bigger picture that we don’t always see, and not everything is within our control. Even challenges and difficulties can be part of something meaningful.

“Free will is in your hands”- while you can’t control outcomes, you can choose how to act and how to respond. You can take initiative, parent your children with love, speak kindly and make decisions even if you are unable to guarantee the results.

A healthy approach is about growing both trust in life and a sense of personal agency. Not “I’ll be okay if everything goes my way,” but “I’ll do my part, and trust the rest will unfold as it should.”

News outlets have their own interests, and yes, fear sells. The more they alarm you, the more addicted you become to checking for updates. If every prediction from the past had come true, there wouldn't be many of us left! Further, the news is almost never only raw facts, but is often shaped by interpretations, commentary, and an agenda to keep you emotionally hooked. That doesn’t mean you must stop watching, but listen with a critical ear. Ask yourself: Is this truly helpful, or just designed to stir anxiety?

When you stop giving full emotional power to the news and start focusing on your responses instead of the outcomes, that’s when real calm can begin to take root.

A simple mental exercise

Three times a day, bring your mind back to this healthy awareness. For example, when speaking with your child, silently say to yourself:
"I can choose what to say, how to say it, and when- but I can’t control how it will turn out."

You’re responsible for your actions, but not for the outcome. Make the effort and life will handle the results.