Understanding Addiction: Causes, Psychological Roots, and Paths to Healing

Addiction describes a state of psychological or physical dependence on a substance or activity. It is characterized by compulsive behavior that persists even when it negatively affects the individual’s life and comes at the expense of other important physical or emotional needs.

For example, when a person consumes large quantities of coffee and continues to do so compulsively despite being aware of the health risks, this likely indicates an addiction. Similarly, someone who compulsively dedicates excessive hours to work without making time for family or friends- even while recognizing the toll it takes on their personal life- might be suffering from work addiction.

When a person is addicted, they may compulsively repeat the same behavior without being able to stop. No event, circumstance, comment, or even clear negative consequence will deter them. Warning signs will flash before their eyes, but they won’t recognize them or be moved to change.

Losing Perspective
The most serious problem with addiction lies in the loss of perspective. For instance, someone drinks a cup of coffee in the morning and feels especially alert and productive. Is there a connection? Perhaps. The coffee might have contributed to some level of alertness and performance. Can the entire success of the morning be credited to that cup of coffee? Of course not.

The addict loses all sense of proportion. In their perception, the entire morning’s success is attributed to the coffee. Without it, they don't believe that they could have functioned at all.

If a non-addict decides to drink coffee to boost alertness, they do so by choice. The addict however, feels that there is no alternative and that they must drink coffee to function. They end up drinking excessively, convinced that only coffee can keep them alert and capable.

Even if they recognize that too much coffee harms their health, they won't stop, because from their perspective, they have no choice. Can they give up their daily functioning just to avoid coffee? Of course not.

This creates an inner conflict: the desire to break free from the source of addiction due to the known damage it causes, versus the perceived critical need to stay connected to it, as it seems to support their daily life.

On a Deeper Level
On a deeper psychological level, addiction can be seen as a form of self-destructive urge or a powerful drive to return to a state of laziness, or helplessness- states that resemble an infant’s passive dependence on its mother.

In the early stages of life, the human being has no independence. The addict subconsciously tries to recreate that early state, where they had no responsibility and no control. The helplessness of infancy is replicated through compulsive behaviors and dependence. Of course no adult can actually recreate that primal, early state. The psyche develops a fantasy of returning to a lost emotional condition, but the attempt to recreate it only leads to disappointment, dysfunction, and harm.

When we see people addicted to behaviors that are reckless or self-harming, it doesn’t necessarily mean they are irresponsible. Often, they are caught in a cycle of self-destruction they don’t know how to escape.

The Illusion of the Unattainable Goal
This same dynamic can be seen in people who unconsciously pursue goals they know they will never achieve. For example, they apply for jobs they know they’ll never get. Deep inside, they may be seeking to relive a sensation of weakness or helplessness. They are unknowingly drawn to the experience of failure to evoke that early feeling of dependence.

Such individuals will often avoid real challenges. Instead of trying and failing, they quit before beginning. Declaring failure becomes a way to reinforce their identity as helpless and dependent, similar to a baby relying on a caregiver.

This is also why they may struggle to enjoy the fruits of stability, such as a supportive family, secure job, or home. These markers of independence conflict with their inner desire to recreate the opposite feeling of vulnerability and lack of control.

Tracing the Roots: Overindulgence in Childhood
If we try to identify the root of this need to relive helplessness, we may find it stems, in some cases, from excessive pampering during childhood.

Occasional indulgence is not harmful and can actually strengthen a child’s sense of security and emotional resilience. However, constant overindulgence, where every whim is immediately fulfilled and no effort is required, can seriously hinder a child’s development.

To build healthy independence, children need to learn that they can get what they want, with effort, growth, and persistence. When children are challenged appropriately and rewarded for overcoming those challenges, they internalize a message: I am capable. They move from dependence to self-sufficiency.

This type of upbringing develops emotional resilience and teaches children to pursue realistic goals, invest effort, take responsibility, and accept the reality that not everything is possible. As noted in Pirkei Avot (Ethics of the Fathers): "If I am not for myself, who will be for me? And if I am only for myself, what am I?"

By linking reward to effort, we help children experience the pride and satisfaction that come from achievement. This fosters a sense of internal strength and teaches them that a fulfilling life is built through responsibility, effort, and wise choices.