The Healing Power of Silence: How Quiet Helps Us Cope with Trauma and Emotional Pain

In moments of deep emotional crisis, the soul stops speaking in words. Words and the way we express them belong neurologically to the analytical, expressive side of the brain, which is located in the left hemisphere. This is the rational, controlled part of the mind.

As long as an experience is being processed within our sensory system, we can usually find words to describe it. What happens when that experience overwhelms us? Or when the soul lacks the tools to contain it?

In such cases, it can sometimes take years to verbalize what happened. Holocaust survivors, those who’ve tragically lost loved ones, bystanders caught up in terrorist attacks, and people who have endured terrible traumas may be simply unable to express the magnitude of what they’ve experienced in words. Throughout history, we find that silence accompanies such moments. Silence forms in a space where words no longer exist.

Before receiving the Torah at Mount Sinai, the Israelites walked in silence for three days in the barren, empty desert. That silence prepared them to receive G-d’s divine speech. This period of release from thought allowed them to live for 40 years in uncertainty. They learned to quiet their minds, to surrender, and to trust G-d. In that space, faith was born- a fruit of uncertainty.

In Parshat Shemini, the Torah recounts the sudden death of Aaron’s two sons and describes his response: “And Aaron was silent.” Again, silence- no words. A moment of inward agreement, of deep encounter with divine reality.

Silence is a sort of intentional surrender. It allows a person to stop knowing, to tolerate helplessness, and to dwell in uncertainty. The silencing of awareness, thoughts, and desires creates a vessel that can hold something higher, beyond our comprehension.

We deliberately create a space without speech and allow silence to become a shared human experience. Some pains are so deep that only silence gives them voice.

The Spiritual Power of Silence

1. Silence sweetens judgment.
When the soul is stormy and out of balance, the instinct is to cry out, “Why? Why me? Why did You do this to me?”- a complaint against Heaven. Silence contains that inner chaos and prevents anger from lashing out. In this stillness, the person “speaks” to G-d through quiet acceptance, saying, “I accept this judgment with love.” That silent surrender softens the decree.

2. Silence leads to trust.
When a person becomes still, the analytical mind relaxes. Instead of overthinking, they focus inward on the pain that fogs their senses. In daily life, we’re run by rigid thought patterns that shape how we respond and interpret events. These patterns keep us locked in the same mental loops.

In silence, trust in G-d begins to grow. Only then does a person realize how little they actually understand, and how false their former sense of control was. In silence, real trust emerges which is deeper and more authentic than ever experienced before.

3. In silence, answers arise.
When a person is silent, it signals that their well of logic has run dry. The analytical brain has no data, no previous reference for this new pain and is unable to process it.

Then the right brain steps in, responsible for creativity, feeling, and deep perception. From the place where thought and emotion merge, answers slowly arise. The thoughts go through an inner refinement and are no longer disconnected from emotion, but work in harmony with it. In that quiet space, one can finally hear the inner voice begin to answer.

The Pain and Power of Silence

There’s no denying that silence contains pain, and it demands a price. The Talmud praises those “who are insulted but do not insult back, who hear shame but remain silent”- they answer in silence, and they feel the pain quietly.

Faith is born through silence.
According to the Tanya, the soul expresses itself in thought, speech, and action. These are not only inner experiences, but they demand outward expression. When we are silent, these thought patterns are subdued, and in their place, something new can emerge: a faith that connects us to the Divine, born from the stillness left when thoughts could not be spoken.

When a person is silent during suffering, it’s not that they have nothing to say, but that the pain runs too deep for words.

In this way, we come to understand the profound truth behind the saying: “I found nothing better for the body than silence” (Pirkei Avot 1:17). It's not just a teaching from Rabbi Shimon ben Gamliel, but a blueprint for life.

This article was inspired by the teachings of Rabbi Michi Yosefi and Dr. Michael Abulafia.

Inbal Elhayani is a certified NLP and guided imagery therapist, writer, and lecturer.