Breaking the Cycle of Depression: Understanding the Roots and Path to Healing

It didn’t happen overnight. It was definitely a process, but the “wake-up call” for the family came when Dad refused to get out of bed for hours. That’s when they realized something had to be done.

It had been a gradual withdrawal from daily life, from interaction with others, and essentially from his own emotions. His appetite had faded, the things that once brought him joy no longer interested him, and he always looked perpetually sad. It was depression. Clear and deep.

Depression is a state of disconnection from the environment, from the “self,” and a sinking into sadness or, emotional numbness and inactivity. It doesn’t always look like what we describe. A person may still be functioning on the outside, but feel constant sadness, exhaustion, worthlessness, and hopelessness. They often lose all motivation for change or effort.

Socially, they may show little initiative, avoid forming new relationships, or neglect existing ones. At work, their performance drops. They stop initiating and certainly don’t pursue meaningful change. You might notice appetite changes, sleep disturbances, and a general lack of desire or drive.

Why Does It Happen?

Biologically, there are observable brain function changes in people with depression, that don’t necessarily present as physical conditions. Often, depression can be traced to certain events- or a series of events- that trigger it.

Research shows that people with depression tend to view the world through a negative lens. A person can be highly intelligent yet still see life negatively and lose hope, which can deepen and sustain the depression.

Why Perspective Matters

Think about the moment you chose to read this article. If your thought was, “Oh, another article claiming to fix the world,” you probably felt some cynicism. If your thought was, “Interesting, maybe this will help,” you likely felt a bit of hope. Same action, different emotion. That’s the power of interpretation. Positive thoughts bring positive emotions, while negative interpretations result in negative feelings.

Why do some people tend to interpret things negatively? It often traces back to early life experiences- our home environment and authority figures. A person raised with constant criticism may grow up feeling inherently flawed. Someone raised with praise is more likely to view themselves as valuable.

Two people with the same strengths might view themselves completely differently. One recognizes their strengths and weaknesses realistically, while the other thinks they’re a failure- regardless of reality.

We interpret life through “mental glasses” shaped by how we view ourselves and the world. If I believe I’m a failure, I’ll reinterpret every success to fit that belief. For instance, if I ace a test, I might say, “It was just luck” or “It doesn’t count.” Even worse, I might twist it into a failure: “If I passed this one, then why did I fail the other? That proves I’m really a failure.” Of course, that logic is flawed, but it's how distorted thinking works.

(Photo: shutterstock)

This distorted thinking persists because it gives us a false sense of safety. If I think I’m a failure, I know what to expect. Changing that belief feels risky. Admitting I might be capable means I may need to push myself more which can be terrifying. I therefore cling to failure as an identity.

Not surprisingly, this leads to less joy, less motivation, and fewer meaningful moments. Add to that a belief that the world is unsafe or people can’t be trusted, and the stage is set for depression.

On the flip side, someone who sees themselves positively will recognize their successes, their potential, and their future. They'll feel more joy because they interpret life in a balanced way. Even failures don’t define them- they are just moments- not identity. This mindset allows them to process disappointment and keep moving forward.

One More Factor: Inactivity

Depression feeds off inaction. A depressed person tends to be passive and inactive, which in itself, worsens the depression. Simply sitting with sadness and negative thoughts magnifies the despair.

We haven’t even touched yet on suicidal thoughts, which are tragically common. In the U.S., about 11.5 out of every 100,000 people die by suicide each year. Roughly 10% attempt it at some point, and 40% struggle with suicidal thoughts. (ACT Therapy, Hayes et al.)

However, among religious populations, these rates are significantly lower, partly due to strong prohibitions against suicide and partly because higher religiosity is often associated with greater life satisfaction.

What Can Be Done?

The first, most essential step is to encourage the person to be active by introducing both enjoyable and purposeful activities. A practical method is to use pen and paper and map out the weekly schedule, hour by hour. You’ll usually discover long stretches of “dead time” with no productivity or pleasure which often leads to emptiness and low self-worth.

Fill those hours with more meaningful and enjoyable experiences. Social interaction is key, even when it’s hard. It takes courage, but it’s worth it. Social connection increases purpose and happiness.

Also, work on developing positive thinking. When you feel a negative emotion, ask yourself: “What thought just went through my mind?” That awareness can help reduce the emotion’s power. Then ask, “Is there another way to view this?”

All of this can help especially for mild, early-stage depression. For deep, long-term depression, professional support is usually needed.

Wishing you healing and strength.