"Did you hear what happened?"

How often does it happen that someone seems so eager to be the bearer of bad tidings? If we think about it, we see that there are people who seem to enjoy telling everyone about the latest tragedy; conversely, there are people who love reporting good news. The two types don't usually overlap.

Almost everyone enjoys the attention they get when they are the first person with the breaking news. But the type of news we enjoy breaking isn't just coincidental. It says a lot about the sort of person we are.

The truth is that we "give ourselves away" all the time. Rabbi Yehuda Mandel writes:

"The verse in Proverbs (27:21) says: 'The crucible for silver and the furnace for gold, and a man according to his praise.' This means silver is tested in a crucible, gold is refined in a furnace, and a person is judged by how people praise him. The Mussar scholars [rabbis whose focus was on ethical behavior] interpreted this as follows:

"'A man according to his praise' -- one can ascertain a person's nature by what he praises. For example, when people attend an important event, and afterward, someone praises the words of Torah that were spoken, then we know that this person is a Torah scholar who cherishes Torah teachings. Another person praises the orchestra, and we realize that this person is deeply moved by music. Yet another person praises the food, and we know from this that he especially appreciates food. And so on."

In other words, we can determine a person's essence by the things they like to talk about. People who seek to live a spiritual life don't usually talk about food so much. People who aspire to being connected to Hashem don't get passionate about the latest model of car in the showroom.

Rabbi Mandel also notes that, "A good person tends to bring good news. Spiritually refined people are very particular not to be the bearers of bad tidings; they prefer to speak about good things, and even when it is necessary to deliver bad news, they leave this task to others.

"For example, in the period following Absalom's rebellion against his father King David, there was a great battle and King David saw Ahimaaz, the son of Zadok, running toward him. King David said, 'This is a good man, and he comes with good news.' Indeed, he informed the king that the battle had been won, and didn't mention that Absalom had lost his life -- he left this news for someone else to report.

"If you want to be a 'good person,' try to only speak good things. The Torah tells us that, 'The tendency of man's heart is evil from his youth.' People are naturally drawn toward evil, toward speaking about evil things and people, and our job is to overcome this tendency and speak good things. When we speak good, we become 'good people.'

"Rabbi Avigdor Miller used to say: 'Sometimes it is better to tell a lie that is good than to tell the truth when it is bad.' Some people are always complaining, and we should encourage them to stop. Speaking evil attracts evil; people who speak about good things draw only good things toward them.

"May Hashem help us and send only good for the Jewish People forever after."