Jewish Law
Shaming Someone Is Like Murder, the Torah Teaches
Even an otherwise righteous person is severely punished if he humiliates someone in public
- Moriah Chen
- פורסם י"ז אלול התשפ"ג
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The meaning of the mitzvah
The prohibition of humiliating others is a negative mitzvah from the Torah that forbids embarrassing or shaming people, or causing them emotional discomfort or distress. It is derived from the verse: "You shall surely rebuke your fellow, but you shall not bear a sin because of him" (Vayikra 19:17).
If we see someone doing something forbidden, we are obligated to enlighten them (if they don't realize what they're doing is wrong) or rebuke them (if they know what they're doing). However, this may only be done if we're careful not to embarrass the person on the receiving end.
The gravity of the prohibition
Humiliating someone is such a serious sin that even a person who is otherwise righteous is severely punished for it. In Pirkei Avot (Ethics of the Fathers), we find:
"Rabbi Elazar HaModai says ... someone who humiliates his fellow-man in public ... even though he possesses Torah knowledge and good deeds, he has no share in the World to Come" (Pirkei Avot 3:11).
The Talmud relates: "Rabbi Chanina says, 'All those who descend to Gehinnom eventually ascend, except for three [categories of people] who descend and do not ascend. These are: those who commit adultery, those who humiliate their fellow-man in public, and those who give their fellow-man a derogatory nickname" (Bava Metzia 58b).
The Talmud also likens publicly shaming a person to murder:
"Whoever humiliates his fellow-man in public, it is as if he sheds blood" (Bava Metzia 58b).
In fact, the Torah teaches us that it is better for a person to submit to terrible suffering if the alternative is shaming someone publicly. The Talmud states: "It is better for a person to throw himself into a fiery furnace rather than humiliate his fellow-man in public" (Berachot 43b). This is based on the story of Tamar, who was willing to be sentenced to death rather than publicly humiliate Yehudah (see Bereishit chapter 38).
When Joseph's brothers arrived in Egypt and did not realize that their brother had been appointed Viceroy, Joseph ordered all the Egyptians to leave before he told his brothers who he was, in order to avoid shaming them. This was despite the fact that he feared their response to his revelation.
In our everyday lives we are often confronted with situations in which, if we are not careful, we risk embarrassing or humiliating others. If we do inadvertently slip, we must do what we can to rectify the situation and repent, and Rambam (Maimonides) tells us: "If one repents, he is among those who have a share in the World to Come, for nothing stands in the way of repentance" (Laws of Repentance 3:4).
