When Mitzvot Become Overwhelming: A Torah-Based Approach

We all want to serve Hashem as best we can. But how perfect does our mitzvah observance need to be? What happens when that sincere desire for closeness to Hashem turns into constant self-doubt or compulsive behavior?

Some people struggle with recurring worries about whether they said the Shema correctly, whether they washed their hands properly, whether their bodies are clean enough to daven (pray), or whether their tefillin are placed just right. These concerns can become overwhelming. So what does the Torah say about it?

First, it’s important to understand that these kinds of emotional struggles are spiritual in nature. They aren’t a medical disease that needs to be “fixed” with pills. A person who is constantly worried that their avodat Hashem (service of God) isn’t “good enough” often just needs gentle guidance and emotional support. Medication alone might even strengthen their mistaken belief that they are broken.

There are many Torah-based approaches to help with this, and here are a few that have brought comfort and clarity to others.

Mitzvot Should Bring Joy, Not Fear
Rabbi Yaakov Yisrael Lugasi, in his sefer Nafshi Be’She’ilati, writes that the first step is recognizing that obsessive worrying is not helping a person come closer to Hashem. In fact, it can pull him further away.

He writes: “This kind of suffering brings no benefit, and there is no Torah source that supports such thoughts.”

The Torah tells us that “All her ways are pleasant, and all her paths are peace.” Hashem wants us to feel joy, calm, and closeness when doing mitzvot, not stress or despair. When we feel anxious or hopeless about our mitzvah observance, that’s not coming from Hashem. It’s the yetzer hara (evil inclination), trying to make us give up.

Worrying About Saying Words Correctly or Washing Repeatedly
Some people feel the need to repeat prayers out of fear that they didn’t say the words right, or didn’t concentrate enough. But there’s no halachic source that supports this habit and no rabbi who encourages it.

The same is true about repeatedly washing hands before davening or eating. One careful washing is enough. Hashem knows your intention, and you’ve fulfilled the mitzvah beautifully.

Rabbi Shalom Shachne Zohn, who spent a lot of time with the holy Chofetz Chaim in the last year of his life, once described how the Chofetz Chaim davened:

“I remember how he said the Amidah slightly aloud, just loud enough to hear himself, as halachah teaches. But I noticed he wasn’t particular about perfect grammar. He spoke naturally, from the heart. It was clear that his focus was emotional connection and not technical perfection.

If we’re too focused on pronouncing every word exactly, we can lose the real purpose of tefillah: heartfelt connection to Hashem.”

Cleanliness Before Prayer
Yes, halachah requires us to have a clean body before davening, meaning we must relieve ourselves if we need to. But some people take this to extremes and make themselves suffer, thinking they’re still not clean enough. That’s not what the Torah asks of us.

The Rebbe of Toldot Aharon once responded to someone who was distressed over this:

“If you tried once to go to the bathroom before davening, that’s enough. The Torah wasn’t given to angels. We are human. If you can’t go, you may still daven.”

The Bnei Yissaschar said something similar: “When someone delays prayer to make sure they’re extra pure, it’s actually a trick of the yetzer hara.”

Tefillin Placement Doesn’t Need to Be Perfect
The Torah says tefillin shel rosh (the head tefillin) should be placed in the center of the forehead. But that doesn’t mean perfectly centered down to the millimeter.

The Divrei Chaim of Sanz wrote: “It’s enough that it’s approximately centered. You don’t need to obsess or adjust it again and again. A good estimate is enough.”

Ask a Rabbi And Trust His Answer
When in doubt, ask your rav. If you don’t yet have one, make it a priority to find someone you trust and can speak to regularly.

It’s a powerful act of humility to accept a rabbi’s guidance. If your rabbi says there’s no need to repeat a prayer or wash your hands again, you should accept that just as you would with any other halachic ruling.

You can even ask your rabbi to take responsibility. Let him know that if he says there’s no need to repeat something, you’ll rely on his decision and he’ll accept any spiritual “risk” involved. This can help bring peace of mind.

Intrusive Thoughts: Don’t Fight, Just Redirect
Rabbi Lugasi advises: “Don’t pay attention to these thoughts at all.” This has been the advice of many great Torah sages throughout the generations.

He explains that if a thought enters your mind against your will, you are not held accountable for it. In fact, if you actively try to push the thought away, and it causes you distress, you are earning great spiritual reward for fighting it.

Rabbi Nachman of Breslov said the best response to such thoughts is to ignore them and gently shift your attention elsewhere. The more we try to “push” a thought away, the more it tends to stick. But if we let it pass and move on, it loses its power.

A Final Word of Hope
All of us go through times of emotional turmoil. Some people fall into sadness or anxiety. Others feel trapped by guilt or fears about serving Hashem “correctly.” It’s important to remember: this pain is temporary. It’s not a disease, and you are not broken.

Emotional distress is a signal, not of weakness, but of spiritual tension that needs support and healing. The Torah gives us tools, not only to grow spiritually, but to find calm, connection, and joy in our service of Hashem.

May Hashem bless us all to serve Him with peace of mind, emotional clarity, and true simchah (joy) in doing His mitzvot.