The Wisdom of When: Acting with Purpose, Not Only Passion

Many times, taking action requires not only the desire to do good and the knowledge of what to do, but also the correct timing and a strong sense of discernment to set priorities. It’s essential to remember that our goal is not just to act, but to act with intention- to know when to act, for whom, and to accept that we can’t do everything ourselves.

When Should We Act?

An action that seems positive can sometimes become harmful.
For example, if a man’s wife goes into labor on Shabbat, he is obligated to drive her to the hospital if that is the best way to get her there (even though driving is normally forbidden on Shabbat). Failing to act in this case would be a transgression, not a mitzvah.

The Torah commands us to offer rebuke when someone is acting inappropriately- but not if the person is unwilling to listen, or might escalate the negative behavior because of the criticism.

Once, a student of the great rabbi known as the Chafetz Chaim, studying in New Jersey, was asked why he often arrived late to prayers at the yeshiva. He explained that he couldn’t leave home while his wife was busy managing their children, and that he felt it was his duty to help her. Besides, there were other synagogues nearby where services started later.

This story reflects thoughtfulness, but it doesn't imply that anyone with household duties is exempt from showing up on time for prayer. Each person must discern what G-d expects from them in that moment. The story teaches us the importance of developing discernment- the ability to weigh everyday choices with care and clarity.

Not Every Battle Is Worth Fighting

In this spirit, we must avoid trying to bring people closer to Torah by force or pressure. Jewish texts provide clear and detailed guidance on how to offer constructive rebuke and influence society positively. Today, without a central religious court like the ancient Sanhedrin, our best approach is to influence others through love, patience, and respect for their free will, so that they themselves can come to appreciate the beauty of Torah life.

Focus on Impact, Not Effort

How can we be sure we’re truly making a positive difference? Imagine you’re a baker who moves to a town where the only food available is bread. If you’re wise, you won’t open another bakery, but you’ll find out what the town actually needs. That’s how you can become useful and successful.

The key to being helpful isn’t necessarily doing what you already know, but about discovering what others need.

In the same way, we must always focus on the impact of a project, rather than the project itself.

If you live in a community lacking kosher food, and you have the skills and resources to do something about it, your first instinct might be to open a kosher factory. But this solution may be expensive and unsustainable.

Instead, focus on the need, not your idea. Ask “What does the community lack?” instead of “What would I like to build here?”

You might realize that people simply need more kosher products, and not necessarily a whole new facility. From there, more practical solutions might emerge such as:

• Certifying an existing factory

• Importing kosher products from another city

• Visiting factories to see if products are already kosher without needing changes

All of these are likely far more effective (and sustainable) than building something from scratch.

This mindset applies to every situation: before acting, ask not what you want to do, but what is truly needed. When you think this way, you’ll discover many more options, make better use of your time and resources, and ultimately multiply your ability to do good.

By focusing on needs, rather than plans, you’ll use your G-d given gifts more wisely, and your efforts will have a meaningful impact.

From the book "Dan's Journey for the Meaning of Life" by Roni Dayan. To purchase the book at Hidabroot Shops, click here.