Beyond Fear: Turning Hesitation into Strength and Purpose

Like laziness, fear can be paralyzing.

Rabbi Yosef Sitruk warned of the destructive power of fear and encouraged people to avoid it as much as possible. He explained that there are two types of fear: negative fear and positive fear.

Negative fear stems from external factors beyond our control such as war, terrorism, financial loss, natural disasters, people who might harm us, or the fear of failure in our investments. This kind of fear makes us feel small, helpless, and paralyzed- it clouds our thinking and shuts down our ability to act.

Positive fear, on the other hand, is the fear of becoming a lesser version of ourselves- a person who falls short of Torah values. It’s the fear of misusing our power, of becoming complacent after achieving a high position, or of failing to live up to our purpose. This kind of fear motivates us. It strengthens us, focuses us, and pushes us to grow.

It’s a common misconception that fear is unavoidablee. Human beings have the ability to control their thoughts and emotions. It is possible to live a calm, purposeful life, leaving fear in G-d’s hands.

Faith Over Fear

First and foremost, everything that happens in your life is overseen by G-d. If someone robs you, it’s only because G-d allowed it. If a war threatens your country, trust that G-d, whose power far exceeds any nuclear weapon, can eliminate the threat in seconds- if He chooses to. If He doesn’t, then it’s still for your benefit.

Fear, at its root, reflects a lack of faith. If you truly believe that G-d watches over you and orchestrates your life, there’s no reason to be afraid. True faith means internalizing this belief so deeply that it brings you peace in every situation.

This doesn’t mean that we shouldn't be cautious. Protecting your life, your surroundings, and your finances is part of your responsibility. The Talmud says that someone who puts themselves in danger opens a judgment in heaven that may expose their shortcomings.

You Don’t Own Your Life

We also tend to fear because we mistakenly think that our lives belong to us. We didn’t choose to be born- our bodies, our consciousness, and our existence were given to us. If they are not ours, why are we so anxious about when they’ll be taken back?

If we let go of that illusion of ownership, we can stop obsessing over survival and start focusing on how to live well and on fulfilling our purpose.

Replace Fear with Focus

To drive out fear, we must fill our minds with something else. The human soul has two key traits:

1. It is never empty.

2. It can only think about one thing at a time.

If you're focused on constructive, meaningful thoughts, fear and negativity naturally disappear. Otherwise fear will dominate your mind completely.

We must therefore shift our attention toward action, responsibility, and the many good things waiting to be done.

The Fear of Mistakes

Many people are held back by imaginary fears such as fear of being judged, laughed at, or misunderstood. These fears are often baseless.

If you dream of becoming a computer expert, you’ll definitely make mistakes. But mistakes are not your enemy- they’re your greatest teachers! Those who fear making mistakes miss out on growth. They remain stuck, while others transform their errors into wisdom.

Spiritual Growth and Social Fear

People fear spiritual growth because of social concerns. Some believe that drawing closer to Torah will isolate them from friends, family, or society.

This is a myth.

While it's true that in the early stages there may be tension, the Torah ultimately brings people closer together. It promotes communication, tolerance, family connection, and mutual respect.

If you have a negative image of what it means to live a Torah life- perhaps a stereotype of someone disconnected, unfriendly, or uninterested in personal care- it’s worth examining where that idea came from, and then erase it. Every person is different, and Torah encourages you to become your best, most unique self.

If becoming more observant caused you to lose friends or feel distant from loved ones, it's worth reassessing your values, because good relationships are foundational to Torah.

From Hesitation to Freedom

Fear creates a barrier between potential and action, but once that barrier is removed, you often realize that what you feared wasn't so terrible, it may even be deeply fulfilling.

This is true with mitzvot (commandments) too. For example, the idea of only eating kosher might initially feel scary: “What about my favorite restaurant?” or “Will I lose my social life?” However, once you take the leap, those fears fade and you begin valuing yourself more. You find that kosher alternatives exist, and that what you gave up wasn’t as essential as you thought. Suddenly, that old restaurant doesn’t seem so important.

The Power of Persistence

Success requires persistence- a trait in short supply in our instant-gratification culture. We expect immediate results and we therefore tend to give up after the first failure. The key to success is to keep going.

Failure isn’t a sign of defeat, but is part of the journey. Every attempt builds something, even if it doesn’t show right away.

This applies to your work, studies, parenting, and every life goal. Just like a woman who suffers multiple miscarriages before finally giving birth- her pain wasn’t in vain- it helped prepare her for the joy that followed.

The Torah teaches that if someone loses something, others are required to return it- unless the owner has already given up hope. The moment we stop believing something is possible, we lose our claim to it.

Persistence is an act of courage. If we look through history, we find that anything that was gained easily didn’t last. There’s no guaranteed formula for success, and sometimes the odds are slim. But no matter what, give your all, do your part, and keep going fearlessly.

From the book "Dan's Journey for Meaning of Life" by Roni Dayan. To purchase the book, click here.