The Real Reason Jacob Feared Esau -- And Why It Matters Now

Why does Jacob really fear meeting Esau?

Even though they’re twin brothers, and even though twenty-one years have passed since Jacob and Esau last saw one another, one thing is clear: this meeting could end very badly.

After all, Esau has tried to kill Jacob several times—which is part of the reason for the long separation. (And, lo and behold, he really does try it again.)

But it’s clear from the Torah that Jacob is more worried about the other possibility—that Esau will reveal himself yet again as a master manipulator, turning on the charm and pretending to be a “loving big brother” while keeping his true motives well hidden until it’s time to pounce.

What does Jacob pray before the meeting? “Save me from the hand of my brother, from the hand of Esau.” It’s as a “brother” that Esau poses the greater threat.

A template for all times

This is not (just) a history lesson. Jacob’s encounter with Esau establishes the template for the Jewish People throughout our thousands of years of existence. Attempts to erase Jacob—to erase Jews and Jewish identity—have always been made using one of these two methods: force, or “brotherly love.”

History has shown us that the second approach is the greater threat and has inflicted a huge number of casualties.

During the Napoleonic Wars, Chassidic leaders debated the question: Which leader is better for the Jews? Napoleon was promising emancipation; the Tsar of Russia oppressed the Jews. In the long run, the Jews of Russia remained Jewish whereas many emancipated European Jews assimilated entirely and left the Jewish People.

Cain and Abel: Deceit won the war

The Midrash highlights the danger of “brotherly love” in its account of the “first world war” between Cain and Abel. Abel was actually stronger than Cain and was about to prevail when Cain pleaded with him, saying: “There are only the two of us in the entire world! What will you tell our father [if you kill me]?

“Abel was then filled with compassion for Cain and immediately upon seeing this, Cain rose up and killed him.”

Unity and tolerance—as long as you’re just like me

In our times, the media is full of appeals for “unity.” It’s absolutely true that the Second Temple was destroyed because of sinat chinam—baseless hatred. It’s also true that our Sages have always warned us not to be oblivious to danger or complacent about threats, however nicely it is all packaged.

When evil people call for unity, do they really mean, “Agree with me and everything will be fine—and if you don’t agree, you’re the troublemaker”?

When evil people call for tolerance so that “everyone can live together in harmony,” do they mean, “Agree with me that anything goes, and if you won’t agree, you’re the problem”?

Nothing is more exciting and joyful than seeing the Holy Land full of Jews living Jewish lives. And nothing is more dangerous than welcoming all kinds of Esaus into the Holy Land in the name of unity.