The Power of Self-Belief: How to Build Lasting Confidence from Within

When we want to strengthen our self-worth, and by extension, our self-confidence, there are two powerful tools that can be of great help:

1. Stop Comparing Yourself to Others

If we want to grow and improve, we must avoid measuring ourselves against others. Instead, we should compare our current self to who we were yesterday.

When we focus on how we measure up to others, we inevitably fall into envy, which, as the Sages say, "removes a person from the world." This comparison erodes our self-worth, making us feel as though others surpass us in every area. We become absorbed in their achievements and our own shortcomings, rather than in our own growth.

When we focus on how we’ve changed relative to our past selves, we place the emphasis where it belongs- our own journey: our improvements, our abilities, our successes, and our potential. It becomes easier to identify what still needs work and how we can continue to grow, step by step.

It's important to remember that success cannot be measured by an absolute standard. As Rabbi Yisrael Salanter once said, each person's purpose is defined by their own unique abilities. What may be a great success for one person could be a failure for another, and vice versa.

When evaluating ourselves and our progress, we must only compare to our own talents and potential. That is the most realistic measure of success, and it’s what helps us build a healthy self-image.

2. Give to Others

Helping others can significantly boost how we feel about ourselves and increase our sense of strength and capability. Acts of kindness toward others empower us, perhaps even more than they help the recipient.

From that point on, a virtuous cycle begins:
Helping others → boosts self-esteem → leads to better use of one’s abilities → increases self-confidence → allows for greater contribution to society → reinforces inner strength, and so on.

Self-confidence and belief in our abilities are not luxuries, but necessities.

The great Rabbi Meir Chadash once offered a striking interpretation about Esau. According to the Talmud (Sanhedrin), Esau sold his birthright not just because he was hungry, but because he believed he couldn’t live up to the sacred responsibilities of being a firstborn, who at that time, served in the Temple.

Esau said, “Behold, I am going to die...”- he feared he wouldn’t succeed in the complex service of the Temple. He did not believe in himself, and so he gave up the birthright. Later, in order to justify the decision and quiet his conscience, he despised the birthright, declaring it worthless thereby convincing himself that he made the right choice. This is a classic psychological move: idealizing the loss, so that guilt can be avoided rather than used for growth.

This incident underscores how crucial self-belief truly is. It’s not just about confidence, but the courage to live out your potential. If you don't believe that you are capable of success, even the most valuable opportunities may be lost.