Just One Kind Word Can Make Someone's Day

The magic of kindness

We would all like to live happy lives within a supportive environment, with frictionless relationships and only smiles wherever we turn. If only there was some "magic wand" that could make this happen – we would buy it even at an exorbitant price. Well, that magic wand exists and is available to all of us. For free. The magic wand is: kind words.

Kind words are our fuel. We consume them daily, many more times than we eat. Kind words determine everything: who enters our social circle, how good our relationships will be, what our mood will be on any given day, and more. This is true between friends and neighbors, parents and children, teachers and students, and even between employees and employers. If employers only knew this secret... it's unbelievable how much more productivity you can get from a person, just with a kind word or compliment!

Being kind with words is simple when the thoughts behind the words are genuine. Unlike praise that can sound like flattery, kind words are more like appreciation -- and who doesn't want to be appreciated? All you need to do is notice other people and what they do. "Thanks so much for... " or "It meant so much to me when you... " or "Wow, what you said made all the difference."

Why not just say it?

The Torah forbids speaking words that will hurt others. Lashon hara (slander and gossip) is also absolutely forbidden. Shaming people with words or otherwise is considered an extremely serious aveirah (sin). But few people are aware that not speaking kind words when one could have is also considered wrong. The holy Zohar states:

"Just as a person is punished for speaking evil words, so too is he punished for a kind word that occurred to him, that he could have said but did not."

In other words, refraining from speaking kind words is equal in severity to speaking lashon hara!

Don't wait until it's too late

Several years ago, following the terrible tragedy that occurred in Meron on Lag b'Omer, when 45 people lost their lives, one of the teachers at the yeshivah where a teenage victim had learned came to comfort his family.

Rabbi Shmuel Eliezer Stern relates that the teacher brought with him some of the tests the boy had taken in recent months, to show the family his excellent results; he also praised his refined character.

The father, far from being comforted, burst into bitter tears.

"Why didn't you tell me this when he was still alive? Why did you have to wait until he was no longer with us to share all this? It would have given us so much joy, and we could have told him how proud we were of him. Why didn't you tell us at the time?"

Seize the moment to make someone's day

How many of us end up wishing, "If only I had told him... " or "I wish I had let her know that... " when it's too late? And the truth is that sometimes, even if we have a later opportunity to say a heartfelt thank you, or to comment on someone's excellent piece of work, there's nothing like saying it right away, when the impact is greatest.

Let's internalize the tremendous effect we can have on others just by saying something kind, and seize every opportunity to bring light into other people's lives.