The Lubavitcher Rebbe’s Message on Grief: How Loved Ones Remain Connected After Death

A fallen IDF soldier’s widow, whose husband was killed in the Six-Day War, wrote to the Lubavitcher Rebbe saying that she could not find the strength to continue raising her children alone.

The Rebbe sent her the following deeply moving reply: “The bond between a husband and wife — and between children and their father, is not based on the body, which is flesh and bone, but on the soul and the spirit, which are the essence of a person.”

“And when a bullet or piece of shrapnel strikes the body,” the Rebbe continued, “it has no power to harm the soul. The soul is eternal, and it remains connected to its family — sharing in their sorrow, rejoicing in their joy. The soul finds comfort when it sees its family recovering from the tragedy.”

On another occasion, when a grieving family came to the Rebbe in deep pain, he told them: “If you knew that the person who passed away had simply moved to another place, and you could no longer see him — would the challenge be easier?”

“Of course,” the family replied. “It would still be sad and difficult, but we could cope.”

“And if you were told,” the Rebbe continued, “that you could send packages to that place — and be certain that he receives them, you would send them, correct?”

“Correct,” they answered.

“Then know this,” said the Rebbe. “Your beloved one is in Heaven. And the ‘packages’ you send him — such as Kaddish and good deeds done for the elevation of his soul, reach him, and benefit his soul.”