A Heartfelt Message from a Mom: "I Can't Afford Lavish Purim Gifts"

A post from a woman named Gabriella Dahari is touching hearts online.

In her post, Dahari shares memories of Purim from her childhood in a family with six kids. "I was the child who brought the least impressive Purim packages to class, maybe even the whole school. Every Purim, my mom would get stressed out. Six kids needing packages for school. She calculated every cent, putting items in and taking them out of the cart over and over.

"The night before, she'd let us kids make the packages ourselves. We poured creativity and thought into making them look decent, to make up for the limited candy and cookies inside.

"Every year, my kids were disappointed with my Purim packages, and it was so hard for me. Even if names weren't mentioned, I felt hated. They would ridicule my 'lame' package."

As a child, it's no doubt this hurt her deeply. The feeling lingered as she grew up. "As I got older, I was so embarrassed to show my packages. I was already socially struggling, and this made it worse. But mostly, it hurt for my mom, because I knew she did her best, and the mockery wasn't fair."

Now, as a mother of five and sole provider, she feels the gap again. "Tomorrow, one of my kids is the 'Shabbat father' at school where boys usually bring wine and challah. The 'Shabbat mother's mom' often prepares fancy treat bags. I feel the gap again. I can't afford to buy for 25 other kids. Nowadays, even the simplest bags are expensive, and many parents spoil their kids so much that anything less is looked down upon."

At this point, Dahari rightly asks, "Why is this necessary? Who is it for? Why this competition? What about those who can't keep up? Does everything have to be so extravagant? Beyond boosting parental egos and causing cavities, it does nothing. Kids are happy with a simple lollipop or toy. Purim is coming, and I read a comment where someone said they 'would love to meet a mom with unimpressive packages'—it hurt.

"I am that mom who can't afford fancy packages. What I give is from my heart and from the little I have. I'm not trying to teach anyone or demand anything. Those with abundance, may you continue to be blessed with abundance, amen. But please, consider those who can't so kids don't feel less worthy just because their package isn't as grand. Kids enjoy simple things. Enjoy it while it lasts because as they grow, so do their demands. Happy Purim to all and sorry if this post is a bit jumbled. I'm mostly venting and didn't think it through much," she concludes.