The Significance of Birthdays in Judaism

A birthday always feels like a special day. But is a birthday really an important event that should be celebrated joyfully? Or, are birthday celebrations possibly a non-Jewish custom that is alien to Judaism? And, if there is a reason to celebrate birthdays, how should they be celebrated according to Judaism?

A birthday – according to the Hebrew calendar, of course – is considered a person's private Rosh Hashanah. It's the day they came into the world. A person marks his birthday and gives thanks for the miracle of his arrival in the world. On this day, many miracles were performed, as mentioned in the Babylonian Talmud: The fetus is placed in its mother's womb like a blank notebook, and an angel comes and teaches it the entire Torah. When the fetus emerges, all the orifices that were closed in his mother's womb open, and everything that was open, closes. Every year on one's birthday, the same supreme influence of mazal (fortune) that began at birth reawakens, and it is written in the Jerusalem Talmud (Rosh Hashanah 3:8): "On a person's birthday, their mazal rules and helps them."

The custom of celebrating birthdays is not especially ancient. In fact, for most of history, it was not a Jewish custom to celebrate birthdays. However, marking birthdays is mentioned in the Torah in the book of Bereishit (Parshat Vayeishev): "On the third day, Pharaoh's birthday, he made a feast for all his servants" (40:20). This is where the opposing views on celebrating birthdays originate.

Rabbeinu Yosef Chaim, in his book "Ben Ish Chai," Parshat Re'eh, writes: "Some have the custom to make their day of birth as a holiday every year, and it is a good sign, and this is the custom in our home." Additionally, the Ben Ish Chai notes that on the day of circumcision, a special prayer should be recited (this is a practice also mentioned by the Ari). Some great Jewish leaders customarily completed a Talmudic tractate on their birthdays, as reported about the Chatam Sofer and his son, the Ktav Sofer. Other Jewish sages published books in honor of their birthdays, like Rabbi David Pardo who completed the book "Shoshanim L'David" on his birthday. The Chafetz Chaim published the booklet "Beit Yisrael" on the 11th of Shevat 5688 (1928), and held a festive meal in honor of his birthday and the publication of his new book.

I conducted a brief interview with Rabbi Yitzchak Gabai of the Hidabroot channel to gain further insight into the Jewish approach to birthdays:

What is the controversy regarding birthday celebrations based on?

"The controversy regarding birthdays begins with a discussion in the Gemara," explains Rabbi Gabai. "The Gemara debates whether it is preferable for a person to have been created - or not to have been created - and concludes that it is better for a person not to have been created. The Gemara proceeds to explain that once man was indeed created, he should engage in Torah. In light of this discussion, some Sages argued: If it is better for a person not to have been created, there is no reason to celebrate his birthday. On the flipside, those who disagree with this position maintain that once an individual was created, he should celebrate every day and every year gifted to him."

And what can be said in support of birthday celebrations?

"The Gemara notes that Moshe's birthday is a day when good things are destined to happen. Haman cast lots against the Jewish people in the month of Adar because he thought it was a month that symbolized destruction. He didn't realize that it was also the month in which Moshe was born. Rabbi Tzadok HaCohen of Lublin explains in his booklet 'Divrei Chalomot' that on the day a person is born, he isn't afraid of anything at all. Yitzchak was born on the 15th of Nisan, and according to the Tanchuma , on this day the Jewish people were redeemed. In fact, even though the Mishkan was fully built on the 21st of Kislev, they waited until the 1st of Nisan to inaugurate it, since this is the month in which Isaac was born."

Is it true that one's mazal (fortune) increases on his birthday?

"It is written that one's mazal increases on his birthday. The Chida wrote about the verse 'a time to be born' - that at the time of birth, a person's mazal is very healthy and strong, though there is also a controversy regarding this point. The book of responsa ‘Divrei Yisrael,’ notes that Jewish people don't have a special influence on their birthdays. Instead, this phenomenon is found among non-Jews who are controlled by the mazalot (constellations). The people of Israel are above mazal. However, some disagree with this point. The Ramban and Ramchal in the book ‘Derech Hashem’ explain that Jews are impacted by mazal. According to this approach, the statement 'there is no mazal for Israel' indicates that Hashem performs miracles for the Jewish people that defy nature and mazal, because prayer has the capacity to change and obliterate decrees.

"In fact, Amalek, the archenemy of the Jewish people, would send soldiers into battle against the Jewish people on their birthdays with the understanding that their mazal was stronger on that day. And it is written in the Midrash in the Jerusalem Talmud that Moshe would change the mazalot, as it were, so they would not influence Amalek's army, which further demonstrates that one's mazal is more potent on his birthday. Those who disagree with this approach explain that this is only for non-Jews who are controlled by mazalot. Mazal doesn't control the Jewish people though, and, accordingly, it doesn't have an influence.

How should a birthday be marked?

"It is customary to mark a birthday with a festive meal, to recite the shehecheyanu blessing over a new garment, and have in mind the new year. In addition, one should take stock of oneself, reflect on the past year, and look forward to what lies ahead. On the Ktav Sofer's 54th birthday, his students saw him crying. When they asked him why he was crying, he explained that he was involved in soul-searching. It should also be noted that a birthday is a great time for prayer. It is written in Tehillim (Psalm 2): 'My son, today I have begotten you.' It is proper to recite this chapter and make requests.

In Chassidic tradition, tzaddikim (righteous leaders) would mark birthdays in various ways. The Baal Shem Tov, the founder of Chassidism, would hold a feast every year on his birthday (18th of Elul) and share words of Torah.

In Lubavitch thought, a birthday is considered a personal Rosh Hashanah. And, just like on Rosh Hashanah we engage in repentance and prayer, and give charity to avert evil decrees, we should conduct ourselves similarly on our birthdays.

Rabbi Yitzchak Bender of blessed memory, reported that Breslov Chassidim would stay awake all night on their birthdays, recite 'Likutei Tefilot,' engage in repentance, and make positive resolutions.

The Baal Shem Tov has a special message for birthdays: Each person has a unique and special role to fulfill in this world that cannot be fulfilled by someone else. This is why he was brought into the world. On his birthday, a person should remember that several years ago, Hashem decided that the world couldn't exist without them, and He created him with a unique role that no one else can fulfill in his place. For this reason, our sages say: "The world was created only for my sake..."