The Leak in My Ceiling and the Torah Mitzvah to Let Go

Compassion to the vulnerable is central to the Torah, setting it apart from other ancient cultures. The mitzvah forbidding us to pain widows and orphans expresses this moral vision, as the following true story shows.

The Leak from Above

I live on the ground floor of a building in one of Jerusalem's older neighborhoods. I'm a simple Jew who works in the open-air market to make a living. One day, I noticed a troubling leak in my ceiling. Water was slowly but steadily dripping into my home.

After some checking, I discovered that the source of the leak seemed to be the apartment directly above mine — the home of an elderly widow.

A Halachic Dilemma

Immediately, I thought of what the Torah teaches about widows, and how we are warned against causing them any anguish. I couldn't bring myself to cause her so much trouble. After all, it would involve bringing in a plumber and breaking into her walls, not to mention the cost of the repair.

So I made a decision. I'd take care of the repair myself — at my expense. I knocked on her door, explained what had happened, and let her know I wouldn’t need anything from her other than permission to let the plumber into her home.

Not the Response I Expected

Was she grateful? Did she thank me or smile with relief? Not exactly. She simply said she needed a week to think about it. She really didn’t know how she would deal with it all — having workers in her home, the mess, the noise, the dust.

A week passed. I returned, gently asking if we could proceed with the repair.

Her answer? A firm no.

"I just don’t have the energy to deal with this," she said. "I’m very sorry, but I can’t handle the mess."

A Test of Patience

Was I frustrated? Yes, and that’s an understatement. But what could I do? I could have insisted, given that according to civil law and basic decency, she really should have allowed the repair. She was responsible for damage coming from her apartment and I was already going above and beyond in offering to pay for the repairs.

It wasn’t easy, but I reminded myself that the mitzvah of giving in and letting go (what we call vatranut) only applies when we’re in the right. Giving in when you're wrong isn't vitur; it's just admitting your fault. Only when you're fully justified and still choose to back down — that’s where the greatness lies.

And so I backed down.

A Hidden Hand

Two months went by. The water kept dripping. I quietly endured it. I emptied buckets and tried not to worry about things only getting worse.

Then one day — miraculously — the dripping stopped.

It turned out that the source of the leak wasn't the widow’s apartment after all. The neighbor two floors up had been doing renovations in the course of which he replaced some faulty pipes. The water had seeped through his floor, into her apartment, and finally into mine.

Had I insisted on my right to fix the leak in the widow's home, I would have spent time and money for nothing. Worse, I would have caused her anguish for no reason at all.

A Torah of Compassion

The Torah’s prohibition against harming a widow or orphan is absolute. As Rambam (Maimonides) writes:

“A person must be extremely careful with orphans and widows, for their souls are very downtrodden and their spirits are humble, even if they are wealthy. And we are even cautioned with regard to the widow or orphans of a king, as it says: ‘You shall not afflict any widow or orphan’ (Shemot 22:21).

“How should one behave toward them? One should speak to them gently, treat them with honor, avoid burdening them physically or emotionally with harsh words, and be especially careful with their property, even more than with one’s own. Anyone who angers them, upsets them, causes them pain, rules over them harshly, or causes them financial loss, transgresses a negative commandment. All the more so someone who strikes or curses them.”

Rambam adds that the Torah stresses the harsh punishment meted out to those who transgress this mitzvah. Hashem tells us that in the event a widow or orphan cries out to Him, He “will surely hear his cry” and his “anger will be kindled” against the person who caused them pain.

Letting Go and Gaining Everything

I thank Hashem that I held back. That I didn’t cause her pain. That I remembered the values of the Torah and acted according to them.

And perhaps that is why the problem was resolved without it causing trouble or harm to either of us, not to mention that it didn’t cost me a penny.

Sometimes the greatest strength lies in restraint. And sometimes, when we choose to let go, Hashem steps in to take care of what we cannot.